Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Deadline dealings thru a video game prism

Since every one and their illiterate uncle Ted has this trade deadline covered in the "real world" let's take a look at the trades that will impact NHL '09:

  • Calgary Flames acquire Olli "Hokey Pokey Cancer" Jokinen

The digi-Flames always had one glaring weakness: offensive depth. Once you make your way past the greatness of Jarome Iginla and the pretty goodness of Michael "the appetizer" Cammalleri, there just isn't many other guys to score cheap-o wraparound goals with.

Olli Jokinen gives them a BIG boost. They're still not at the San Jose Sharks level of three-lines-deep magnificence but they're pretty darn good.

  • Pittsburgh Penguins acquire Bill Guerin for peanuts

Easily the winner for "trade that will affect video games more than real life." Guerin gives the Penguins what they've needed for a long time: a right handed shot. Plus, BG is WAY way WAY better in NHL video games than he is in real life.

(And will be, until EA starts rating players on "going into the corners" and "caring any more.")

Off the top of my head, what the Penguins lines would look like

Guerin-Sid Crosby-Evgeni Malkin
Chris Kunitz - Jordan Staal - Petr Sykora
Matt Cooke - Tyler Kennedy - Miroslav Satan
Pascal Dupuis - Max Talbot - Jabroni

Now, if they'd only add a center who can win some friggin' face-offs.

More to come, maybe. Although there weren't many big deals after all.


Vance said...

Remember Bill Guerin's rental with San Jose 2 years ago?

That whole 2 points in the playoffs? Yeah, Ray Shero didn't either.

jamestobrien said...

Yup, Bill Guerin's pretty worthless. Although he's kind of a decent guy. At least from about five minutes of an interview I heard on Dallas's The Ticket, he's an OK guy.

Chris Kontos said...

I look forward to the day when the NHL is rid of players like Guerin, Mark Recchi and Doug Weight. I have a feeling that may be never. These guys are the trading deadline un-dead.

jamestobrien said...

Seriously, Chris. It's crazy how many times Recchi and Tkachuk and Weight keep re-surfacing. Maybe having those guys on your team isn't exactly a recipe for success, eh GMs?