Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Sports cliches: playing the percentages

Good lord ... that guy from "The Soup" is kinda creepy looking, right?

Something cracked me up while looking at Yahoo! player notes for Patrick Kane (my fantasy team's best RW ... although Bobby Ryan's been wearing that belt for the last month).

"Fri, Feb 6:
Kane told the Chicago Tribune on Friday that his ankle is only 85 to 90 percent healed."

There's nothing out of the norm in that, but the human need for arbitrary percentages amuses me. Especially in the wording " ... his ankle is only 85 to 90 percent healed." Is 85 to 90 percent really that far from complete healing?

More than that, it's when people say they feel 100 percent better. Unless you felt at 0 percent (which has to be dead ... right? Wouldn't that only be possible for people like that douche from Motley Crue who was clinically dead for a few seconds?) it would be impossible to feel that much better.

In fact, feeling 50 percent better is highly unlikely. My guess is that "now" Subway Jared feels 50 percent than "before/pants the size of a tent" Subway Jared. Or at least 35 percent.
Cliff Notes version of Easter: three days later, Jesus feels 100 percent better*

People - and let's face it, that probably includes me - will keep using this arbitrary percentage rule. But it's funny to step back and think about what we're really saying.

* - Too soon?


jamestobrien said...

I'm pretty sure that joke isn't offensive - right? I guess on some level any joke can be offensive ... just trying to take the room's temperature here.

AmyB said...

Hahaah. This post is 100% better than Puck Daddy's Sidney Crosby obsession.

jamestobrien said...

Haha, well played Amy. Well played.