Monday, October 26, 2009

Jersey purchasing advice from someone who never buys jerseys


I saw some photo of a Packers fan wearing a Aaron Rodgers jersey and it made me think about how nice (but risky) of a gesture that is. That made me think further: what jersey(s) should fans of each NHL team consider?

Here is my criteria:

1. A solid crossroads of obscurity and talent

It's not very exciting to wear a Crosby jersey if you're a Penguins fan or an Ovechkin jersey if you're a Caps fan ... so you want to get a sweater that's a little more unique. That being said, you don't want to wear the number of a guy who can barely play 10 minutes a night. Finding a good compromise between the two is ideal.

2. Longevity

This is a big one in a sports atmosphere where players change colors so often. Trying to find a guy who either has a longterm deal or is unlikely to leave is a key component to finding the right jersey.

3. General Goodwill

More in line with your fellow fans, general goodwill is measured by how your peers would react to that jersey.

Optional Categories:

4. Sentimentality

To contrast #2, some players build up enough goodwill that you can permit people to wear a rosterly outdated jersey. This does not apply to guys who leave on bad terms (so just go ahead and burn that Heatley Senators jersey or that Pronger Oilers jersey).

5. Hilarity

Special bonus points go for players who were horrible. You get instant respect from me if you rock a Tommy Salo Team Sweden jersey, a Roman Cechmanek LA Kings jersey or something of that ilk.

***

Anaheim

Active
Teemu Selanne
Jonas Hiller

Departed
Guy Hebert
Steve Rucchin

Atlanta

Active
Bryan Little
Colby Armstrong

Boston

Active
Milan Lucic (even though it's pretty obvious)
Zdeno Chara (breaks the rules because he's super tall)

Departed
Bobby Orr (obvious ... but it's Bobby effin Orr)
P. J. Axelsson (judging from Cornelius's man crush)

Buffalo

Active
Thomas Vanek
Derek Roy

Departed
Chris Drury
Daniel Briere

Calgary

Active
Jarmoe (he's just too bad ass)
Robyn Regehr

Departed
Theo Fleury
Al MacInnis

Carolina

Active
Chad LaRose
Rod Brind'amour

Departed
Ron Francis - Hartford Whalers edition


Chicago

Active
Brent Seabrook
Kris Versteeg

Departed
Jeremy Roenick
Stan Mikita

Colorado

Active
Craig Anderson
Kyle Quincey

Departed
Pretty obvious, right?

Columbus

Active
Antoine Vermetteg
Jan Hejda

Dallas

Active
James Neal
Brenden Morrow (he's just too bad ass)

Departed
Neal Broten - North Stars
Mike Modano - in his prime (just kidding)
Sergei Zubov

Detroit

Active
Darren Helm
Johan Franzen

Departed
There's about a million

Edmonton

Active
Sam Gagner
Ales Hemsky

Departed
Again, lots. See: the 1980's

Florida

Active
David Booth
Tomas Vokoun

Departed
Bieser

Los Angeles


Active
Dustin Brown
Drew Doughty

Departed
Kelly Hrudey
Luc Robitaille

Minnesota

Active
Miikko Koivu
Brent Burns

Montreal

Active
Andrei Markov
Michael Cammalleri

Departed
C'mon

New Jersey

Active
Zach Parise

Departed
Scott Stevens
Scott Niedermayer

New York Islanders

Active
John Tavares (before fans come back out of the woodwork?)
Kyle Okposo

Departed
See: Edmonton

New York Rangers

Active
Ryan Callahan
Michael Del Zotto

Ottawa

Active
Anton Volchenkov
Mike Fisher

Departed
Alexandre Daigle :)

Philadelphia

Active
Mike Richards (because he's so bad ass)
Braydon Coburn

Departed
Someone who hurt a lot of people

Pittsburgh

Active
Max Talbot
Tyler Kennedy

Departed
Beyond the obvious ...
(to me anyway)
Straka, Kovalev, Wregget, Kasparitis, etc.

San Jose

Active
M.E. Vlasic
Joe Pavelski IF he re-signs

St. Louis

Active
T.J. Oshie
Erik Johnson

Departed
Adam Oates
Brett Hull
Al MacInnis

Tampa Bay

Active
Steve Stamkos
Victor Hedman

Toronto

Active
Luke Schenn
Phil Kessel

Departed
Mats Sundin
Wendel Clark

Vancouver

Active
Ryan Kesler
Alex Burrows

Departed
Trevor Linden
Pavel Bure

Washington

Active
Nicklas Backstrom
Howeverhespellshisfirstnamenow Varlamov

Departed
Olaf Kolzig
Petr Bondra

4 comments:

Joe said...

Just get rid of the whole list, and put Darren Helm.

CLS said...

I half-considered leaving Helm out in favor of Bertuzzi, just to incite rage.

raventalon40 said...

Excuse me, but Salo won a gold medal in that jersey.

joseph burrell said...

that is a rather nice jersey, I mean the blue one, and I would buy it for sure, I will check out hostpph.com and see if they have it online