Jersey purchasing advice from someone who never buys jerseys

I saw some photo of a Packers fan wearing a Aaron Rodgers jersey and it made me think about how nice (but risky) of a gesture that is. That made me think further: what jersey(s) should fans of each NHL team consider?

Here is my criteria:

1. A solid crossroads of obscurity and talent

It's not very exciting to wear a Crosby jersey if you're a Penguins fan or an Ovechkin jersey if you're a Caps fan ... so you want to get a sweater that's a little more unique. That being said, you don't want to wear the number of a guy who can barely play 10 minutes a night. Finding a good compromise between the two is ideal.

2. Longevity

This is a big one in a sports atmosphere where players change colors so often. Trying to find a guy who either has a longterm deal or is unlikely to leave is a key component to finding the right jersey.

3. General Goodwill

More in line with your fellow fans, general goodwill is measured by how your peers would react to that jersey.

Optional Categories:

4. Sentimentality

To contrast #2, some players build up enough goodwill that you can permit people to wear a rosterly outdated jersey. This does not apply to guys who leave on bad terms (so just go ahead and burn that Heatley Senators jersey or that Pronger Oilers jersey).

5. Hilarity

Special bonus points go for players who were horrible. You get instant respect from me if you rock a Tommy Salo Team Sweden jersey, a Roman Cechmanek LA Kings jersey or something of that ilk.

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Anaheim

Active

Teemu Selanne

Jonas Hiller

Departed

Guy Hebert

Steve Rucchin

Atlanta

Active

Bryan Little

Colby Armstrong

Boston

Active

Milan Lucic (even though it's pretty obvious)

Zdeno Chara (breaks the rules because he's super tall)

Departed

Bobby Orr (obvious ... but it's Bobby effin Orr)

P. J. Axelsson (judging from Cornelius's man crush)

Buffalo

Active

Thomas Vanek

Derek Roy

Departed

Chris Drury

Daniel Briere

Calgary

Active

Jarmoe (he's just too bad ass)

Robyn Regehr

Departed

Theo Fleury

Al MacInnis

Carolina

Active

Chad LaRose

Rod Brind'amour

Departed

Ron Francis - Hartford Whalers edition

Chicago

Active

Brent Seabrook

Kris Versteeg

Departed

Jeremy Roenick

Stan Mikita

Colorado

Active

Craig Anderson

Kyle Quincey

Departed

Pretty obvious, right?

Columbus

Active

Antoine Vermetteg

Jan Hejda

Dallas

Active

James Neal

Brenden Morrow (he's just too bad ass)

Departed

Neal Broten - North Stars

Mike Modano - in his prime (just kidding)

Sergei Zubov

Detroit

Active

Darren Helm

Johan Franzen

Departed

There's about a million

Edmonton

Active

Sam Gagner

Ales Hemsky

Departed

Again, lots. See: the 1980's

Florida

Active

David Booth

Tomas Vokoun

Departed

Bieser

Los Angeles

Active

Dustin Brown

Drew Doughty

Departed

Kelly Hrudey

Luc Robitaille

Minnesota

Active

Miikko Koivu

Brent Burns

Montreal

Active

Andrei Markov

Michael Cammalleri

Departed

C'mon

New Jersey

Active

Zach Parise

Departed

Scott Stevens

Scott Niedermayer

New York Islanders

Active

John Tavares (before fans come back out of the woodwork?)

Kyle Okposo

Departed

See: Edmonton

New York Rangers

Active

Ryan Callahan

Michael Del Zotto

Ottawa

Active

Anton Volchenkov

Mike Fisher

Departed

Alexandre Daigle :)

Philadelphia

Active

Mike Richards (because he's so bad ass)

Braydon Coburn

Departed

Someone who hurt a lot of people

Pittsburgh

Active

Max Talbot

Tyler Kennedy

Departed

Beyond the obvious ...

(to me anyway)

Straka, Kovalev, Wregget, Kasparitis, etc.

San Jose

Active

M.E. Vlasic

Joe Pavelski IF he re-signs

St. Louis

Active

T.J. Oshie

Erik Johnson

Departed

Adam Oates

Brett Hull

Al MacInnis

Tampa Bay

Active

Steve Stamkos

Victor Hedman

Toronto

Active

Luke Schenn

Phil Kessel

Departed

Mats Sundin

Wendel Clark

Vancouver

Active

Ryan Kesler

Alex Burrows

Departed

Trevor Linden

Pavel Bure

Washington

Active

Nicklas Backstrom

Howeverhespellshisfirstnamenow Varlamov

Departed

Olaf Kolzig

Petr Bondra