Tuesday, January 6, 2009

10 Noteworthy Cycles from 2008

"Hockey - Rocky - Shmockey - BUKKAKE! I need this list like I need a shotgun blast to the face!"

Being that Cycle like the Sedins started more or less at the beginning of the 2008-09 season, there isn't a huge pool of mind blowing posts quite yet. (Are there any?) That being said, there have been a few solid posts that help justify the epic timesuck that is posting without any monetary encouragement.

(The only necktar there is to feed off is your sinfully delicious comments. Rare, sweet necktar.)

Anyway, enough hivemind. Let's take a look at 10 stories that were memorable (oddly enough, I didn't plan it out to be ten it just sort of happened. Eat it, Letterman.)

The First Bertuzzday: how the Vancouver Canucks resembled Cobra Kai

While maintaining a weekly Bertuzzday proved too much to handle, it started off with a bang. The above post featured a deep analysis of Bertuzzday's namesake, delving into the Steve Moore neck breaking fiasco, the Cobra Kai parallels to those former Canucks and finished with the question: what would Todd Bertuzzi need to do to gain forgiveness?

Never got a definitive answer on that one, but some of the comments between SLS and BoC were certainly intriguing.

Two major blows to the hockey blogosphere

Easily the most linked post in CLS's brief history. Oddly enough, when I posted about the Dave Berry fiasco it seemed like my post would be at the tail end of the discussion. Boy, was I ever wrong about that...

Bertuzzday: Dale Hunter

Say what you want about the dirty Bertuzzi hit, at least it was in the heat of the moment. Hunter's hit was made all the more sickening by the fact that Pierre Turgeon had absolutely no reason to expect contact. He just scored a fucking goal.

That hit redefined the standards for a late hit and possibly stunted Turgeon's career. You have to wonder if he never felt quite felt safe on a sheet of ice ever again. Seriously, you cannot even safely celebrate a goal?

Can't spell Gaborik without "IR"

This post doesn't exactly make me some Puck Nostradamus. Seriously, pointing out Gabby's injury prone nature is about as out-on-a-limb as predicting that Marisa Tomei will look good topless.

Still, sometimes it's surprising how much this stuff is like clockwork. Martin Havlat breaking his trend would be equally surprising if it weren't for this being his contract year (the timing of Havlat's health > the timing of Minnesota fielding trade offers).

Being that the Wild will probably have to let Gaborik go for nothing, this could be one awkward breakup.

Half court Hockey

This post contemplates an idea proposed in a Bucci column: what if the NHL allowed the offensive zone to stretch to the red line once the attacking team entered the zone? Not everyone was on board with this idea (if I remember correctly, Greg W/Puck Daddy compared it to roller hockey), but it would certainly be interesting to see what the Ovechkins and Kovalchuks of the world would do with all that space.

Come on, it's not THAT bad an idea, is it?

Which team would be the best for Oldmanahan?

It's pretty amazing that this late-October post is still fairly relevant. Who would have thought that Brian Burke would lay rest to the Maple Leafs rumors and flea to Toronto before Shanahan would find a team to play for?

An in-depth look at the wildly unappreciated career of Jaromir Jagr

With all the hate thrown around for arguably the most talented European player in NHL history, it seemed right to smother the Czech in stat-heavy love. Admiring his jaw dropping goal against the Chicago Blackhawks does not assure the universe that you own a soul, but disavowing it definitely disqualifies you.

Ovechkin to Oven: what European hockey names would look like with the "Ellis Island" treatment

There's a scene in the Andy Kaufman biopic "Man of the Moon" where Kaufman and Bob Zmuda are (Spoiler alert for complete, jarring idiots) swindling audiences by sharing the role of Tony Clifton. They have a good, hearty laugh as Kaufman's manager quizzically states the obvious: what good is a joke if you're the only two people in the world who get it?

That Ellis Island post is the Cycle like Sedins equivalent. Writing it during one night of inspiration with a smile from ear to ear, I showed it to my buddies who ate it up. And yet, if there was an Internet equivalent to a cricket chirping, the 0 comments on that post would be it.

Eh, fuck you guys. That shit's funny.

Great things come in pairs

Solid little article about the dynamic duos of the NHL past and present. Justified partially though not entirely by a Toe Jam and Earl reference. Consider this the Ron Francis of CLS posts.

Picking the brain of a fantasy hockey guru

This guy's been the ace up my sleeve in fantasy hockey for years now (although, honestly, if any one facing me in any of my three leagues read my blog they'd know about him by now). Thanks to a sublime combination of my own hockey knowledge, his Q & A's and idiotic panic moves by other league owners I'm in first place in two of my leagues and second in the league where I suffered an autopick fate for the first four rounds.

Interviewing the guy was enjoyable and he generally shook off my absurd, silly questions.


Not a bad first four months. It helps put the 'ol paralyzing anonymity in perspective. At times it's been discouraging as the concept of the blog fell apart like the Pittsburgh Penguins' powerplay, but no need to dwell on the negative.

Here's to a 2009 that hopefully makes those posts pale in comparison.

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