Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Kontos and Kelly share LA Kings free agent perspective

An x-ray of Marian Gaborik's groin

First, we have our own contributor/founder of The Royal Half Chris Kontos on the Kings:

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Gaborik. Just say no, Dean Lombardi. Even to a 1 year contract. I've lived through Jason Allison... I've lived through Ziggy Palffy... I've lived through Pavol Demitra. There is no way in hell I want to have another highly skilled offensive player come to the Kings, get excited about the offense he is creating and then watch said player's body fall apart like peanut brittle. Although Gaborik does have some sick stats... when he is playing (on a mainly defensive-minded team.)

(Note: the columns are for: season - GP - Goals - Assists - Points - and plus minus)

2005–06

6538286664+6







2006–07

4830275740+12







2007–08

7742418363+17







2008–09

171310232+3

Signing Gaborik would show that the Kings have yet to really make that big step forward. It would mean that they missed out on the Hossa sweepstakes and continue the struggle of bringing high level free agents to Los Angeles (like going from Drury and Chara to..... Tom Preissing?)

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

If Dany Heatley or Vinny Lecavalier end up on some combination of the Ducks, Sharks, Stars or Coyotes. Especially Heatley... I know that Lombardi has concerns about his attitude and that this trade is probably as dead as your pick of McMahon, Fawcett or Jackson... but man, Heatley, Kopitar and Williams would be a great line.

***

And now, the infamous Rudy Kelly of Battle of California:

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Ryan Smyth. He's a potential for movement since the Avalanche are going to be about as competitive as James O'Brien at the Playboy Mansion but I despise him with every fabric of my being. I hate him. I'd rather see my own birth from the doctor's perspective than have Ryan Smyth in a Kings' jersey. Also, I don't particularly like Mike Cammalleri and wouldn't want to be the idiot team that pays him $6 million dollars to shoot from his knees.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

If the Ducks get Sammy Pahlsson back I will be crushed. Earl will never shut the fuck up about how great he is and how much he loves the guy. I just want him to fall in love with someone closer, someone who would never leave him: me. WIth Pahlsson gone I can finally make my move, especially now that I have girl-approved hair. I'm cosmopolitan!

And I guess in a way the Kings are my nemesis since they hold sway over my heart, so I'll just say that they're not going to get anyone and Lombardi is going to half-ass some remark about boxes and I will be suicidal before talking myself into the Kings going to the playoffs on the backs of Oscar Moller and Ted Purcell. *Sigh

6 comments:

Anaheim Calling said...

ARTHUR:
Despite the caption, I hella want some peanut brittle now.

jamestobrien said...

It does look pretty delicious, doesn't it? Somewhere, Gaborik's lady friend(s) are nodding their heads.

Chris Kontos said...

mmmm... peanut brittle groin.

eyebleaf said...

I know this post is about the Kings, but I hope you guys are ready to place that order for Toronto Maple Leafs Sedin jerseys. It's going down.

Joe said...

Forget Gaborik, I need a girl with a peanut brittle groin. I'd eat that allllll day long.

jamestobrien said...

@ eyebleaf:

I'm starting to think you're right. The good news about Sedins in TOR is that I probably wouldn't need to change the color scheme at CLS, right?

@ Joe:

Sure, that would be good for eating. But what about everything else? You'd break it in half!