As the Blackhawks turn OR The Young and the Reckless OR Don't call them the Chicago Cabs

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I know that was the predictable photo to run, but c'mon.

Let me ask everyone: has any NHL team EVER had a crazier off-season than the Chicago Blackhawks?

Hearing the details of Patrick Kane's bizarre, alleged assault of a cab driver, it was hard to believe it wasn't a joke at first. (It's not a joke, is it?) The event as an alleged incident brings up plenty of questions:

Is there ANY way booze was not involved? What is pocket change to a guy who will earn more than $3 million in the 2009-10 season? Does EA boot him off the cover, like they did with Dany Heatley?*

Well, at least hockey players didn't electrify dogs

* - Obviously, Heatley's incident was way worse. But is getting arrested the EA NHL series' answer to the Madden curse? Heatley, Eric Staal and now Kane. Just sayin'.

ANYWAY, it's truly been a crazy summer for the Chicago Blackhawks franchise. Let's look at the biggest stories/snafus/angry Tweets in chrono-illogical (like what I did there?) order.

• The Chicago Blackhawks sign professional bridesmaid Marian Hossa to a 12 year $62.8 million contract. While the move wasn't that bad in a vacuum, it could be a really bad move in the big picture of things. (Translation: it might be not be a Big Three much longer)

• A lot of people liked the Hossa signing, but who could defend Fax-gate? By not properly sending Kris Versteeg and Cam Barker qualifying offers, the cracks in the 'Hawks foundation were starting to become undeniable.

• Dale Tallon, the butt of many CLS jokes, gets fired. Fax-gate is more or less an excuse to promote Scotty Bowman's son. I find out that maybe Tallon wasn't the only one behind the BRILLIANT resurgence of the Blackhawks. (Sorry, Dale, I should have spread the snark)
  

Chicago's omelette of sadness

• In a watershed moment for social media, Martin Havlat badmouths the Blackhawks on Twitter. Apparently, the team owed more to a guy who earned his contract for exactly one season. The Blackhawks franchise now has enough egg on its face to make an omelette.

• Hey, you know that already questionable Hossa signing? It gets better. Apparently, Hossa needed off-season shoulder surgery. He could miss up to 30 games in the very regular season they are risking everything for. Rumor has it, the team didn't even require Hossa to take a physical. Notice a pattern yet?

• And now the face of EA Sports' hockey game ... a guy who will represent USA Hockey ... a #1 draft pick Patrick Kane is now in the headlines for all the wrong reasons.

And there is still a solid amount of summer to go. What do the 'Hawks have left for us?

I, for one, cannot wait to find out what happens next.