Maybe the Ducks should go all-out adorable

(Image via Wikimedia Commons)

When you put together a list of the NHL's most depressing teams, you'll probably see stuck-in-the-muck squads like the Minnesota Wild or Calgary Flames. (Well, the pre-Zach Parise/Ryan Suter Wild, at least.) Maybe you'll put the Florida Panthers on that list for the sake of longevity.

You know what team is starting to rise in my own pity power rankings, though? The Anaheim Ducks.

My guess is that the Ducks rarely get beat up much lately because they're just a few years removed from winning a Stanley Cup and still tend to squeeze into the playoffs every now and then. (Sure, this franchise might actually be dumb enough to burn the bridge with promising - and affordable - power forward Bobby Ryan, but the Ducks' slide toward mediocrity/outright putridity hasn't been well-documented.)

There was a time when I detested the Disney-era jerseys, but Earl Sleek made a great argument that those goofy uniforms gave the team an identity. Considering the "glorified watermark/font" the team has been working with since that first Stanley Cup-winning season, Sleek might be right.

Which recently made me wonder: should the Ducks go all-out, balls-to-the-wall cute?

To me, it's a no-brainer.

• The most important point is that ducks won't ever intimidate anyone as a mascot. (Yes, Chris Pronger elbowing and stomping people while wearing a Ducks jersey was very intimidating, but that wouldn't change anyway.)
• If the Buffaslug taught us anything, it's that you can sell a bunch of jerseys with an off-beat design, absorb the disgust from fans and then go back to a more traditional look once the P.T. Cruiser-ugly-trendiness subsides.
• Women will love it: this is always a good thing, especially since you wouldn't have to pander with pink.
• Sarcasm sells. Can you imagine how many people might honestly troll Corey Perry by purchasing an cuddly Ducks sweater with Perry's name on the back? If nothing else, it would push the "attempted irony" button down, hard.

The Ducks are quietly becoming a rreal mess. To some, they're especially depressing because of their low budget, top-heavy roster* and even their bland uniforms. Wearing adorable jerseys won't make trading Ryan any less foolish, but it might earn them a little extra dough and inject a little fun into the mix. Thoughts?

* - Seriously, they've totally botched the Bobby Ryan situation.

Weekly Dose overflow: The 2012 Rotoworld Playoff Mock Draft

Note: The Rotoworld 2012 playoff pool's results and explanations ended up exceeding column length limits, so I decided to put full results here. Enjoy!

Gus Katsaros

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	1	Sidney Crosby	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	AUTO
2	20	Kris Letang	D	Pittsburgh Penguins	AUTO
3	21	Henrik Zetterberg	F	Detroit Red Wings	AUTO
4	40	Andy McDonald	F	St. Louis Blues	AUTO
5	41	Alexander Steen	F	St. Louis Blues	AUTO
6	60	T.J. Oshie	F	St. Louis Blues	AUTO
7	61	Rich Peverley	F	Boston Bruins	AUTO
8	80	Jason Spezza	F	Ottawa Senators	AUTO
9	81	Mike Fisher	F	Nashville Predators	AUTO
10	100	Martin Erat	F	Nashville Predators	AUTO
11	101	Chris Kelly	F	Boston Bruins	AUTO
12	120	Artem Anisimov	F	New York Rangers	AUTO
13	121	Jannik Hansen	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
14	140	Mikael Samuelsson	F	Florida Panthers	AUTO
15	141	Tuukka Rask	G	Boston Bruins	AUTO
16	160	Matt D'Agostini	F	St. Louis Blues	AUTO
17	161	Colin Wilson	F	Nashville Predators	AUTO
18	180	Ian White	D	Detroit Red Wings	AUTO
19	181	Kyle Quincey	D	Detroit Red Wings	AUTO
20	200	Martin Biron	G	New York Rangers	AUTO

My thoughts: Gus’ team is auto-drafted and heavy on contenders. Scary stuff, but goaltending might just be his undoing, with two backups. (Rask could make things interesting if something happens with Tim Thomas, though.)

Corey Abbott

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Type
1	2	Evgeni Malkin	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
2	19	Jimmy Howard	G	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
3	22	Pascal Dupuis	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
4	39	Chris Kunitz	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
5	42	Brian Elliott	G	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
6	59	Kevin Bieksa	D	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
7	62	Kevin Shattenkirk	D	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
8	79	Shane Doan	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
9	82	Tyler Kennedy	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
10	99	Niklas Kronwall	D	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
11	102	Patrik Berglund	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
12	119	David Clarkson	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
13	122	Dustin Brown	F	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
14	139	Dave Bolland	F	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
15	142	Jakub Voracek	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
16	159	Mike Green	D	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
17	162	Danny Cleary	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
18	179	Jordin Tootoo	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
19	182	Johan Hedberg	G	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
20	199	Arron Asham	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL

Corey’s explanation:

“I went into the draft with Penguins on the brain and when I saw had the second overall pick, which would mean I could get Sidney Crosby or Evgeni Malkin, I wanted to select complementary players to go with them. Goalies went fast so I chose Jimmy Howard, and a few other Red Wings, even though I have my doubts about their success against Nashville. My final eight picks were mostly value-based, as this is a deep draft and there aren't enough players to go around. I was pleased to get Dustin Brown in the 13th round. In addition to him, Mike Green in the 16th round, 159th overall, and Daniel Cleary, 162nd overall, have the ability to produce as well and could bring some late-addition scoring to my squad.”

Jared Ostroff

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	3	Henrik Lundqvist	G	New York Rangers	MANUAL
2	18	Brad Richards	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
3	23	Zach Parise	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
4	38	Ray Whitney	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
5	43	Radim Vrbata	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
6	58	Patrick Kane	F	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
7	63	Marian Hossa	F	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
8	78	Keith Yandle	D	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
9	83	Martin Hanzal	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
10	98	Valtteri Filppula	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
11	103	Duncan Keith	D	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
12	118	Oliver Ekman-Larsson	D	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
13	123	Jiri Hudler	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
14	138	Scott Clemmensen	G	Florida Panthers	MANUAL
15	143	Antoine Vermette	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
16	158	Gilbert Brule	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
17	163	Viktor Stalberg	F	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
18	178	Brandon Prust	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
19	183	Maxime Talbot	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
20	198	Ruslan Fedotenko	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL

My thoughts: Jared has a strong team that follows the “pick teams and run with it” model. The only issue might be that the Blackhawks and Coyotes might cancel each other out. Then again, with free agency, he can fill some of the holes.

My team

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	4	Roberto Luongo	G	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
2	17	Ilya Kovalchuk	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
3	24	Alex Pietrangelo	D	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
4	37	Corey Crawford	G	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
5	44	David Krejci	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
6	57	Danny Briere	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
7	64	Michael Del Zotto	D	New York Rangers	MANUAL
8	77	Erik Karlsson	D	Ottawa Senators	MANUAL
9	84	Jaromir Jagr	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
10	97	Alexander Semin	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
11	104	Patric Hornqvist	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
12	117	Chris Stewart	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
13	124	Mike Richards	F	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
14	137	Sergei Kostitsyn	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
15	144	Sergei Bobrovsky	G	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
16	157	Brent Seabrook	D	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
17	164	Sean Couturier	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
18	177	Dennis Wideman	D	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
19	184	Jamie Langenbrunner	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
20	197	Tomas Holmstrom	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL

Michael Finewax

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	5	Marian Gaborik	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
2	16	Jaroslav Halak	G	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
3	25	Martin Brodeur	G	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
4	36	Ryan Callahan	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
5	45	David Backes	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
6	56	Alexander Edler	D	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
7	65	Carl Hagelin	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
8	76	Ryan Suter	D	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
9	85	Ryan McDonagh	D	New York Rangers	MANUAL
10	96	David Booth	F	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
11	105	Jason Arnott	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
12	116	Travis Zajac	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
13	125	Mason Raymond	F	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
14	136	Sami Salo	D	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
15	145	Zack Kassian	F	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
16	156	Marc Staal	D	New York Rangers	MANUAL
17	165	Nicklas Backstrom	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
18	176	Kris Russell	D	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
19	185	Maxim Lapierre	F	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
20	196	Mike Rupp	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL

Finewax’s explanation: My draft strategy was to get one of Henrik Lundqvist or Roberto Luongo as I thought the Canucks and Rangers are going to meet in the Cup finals. When that didn't happen, I went to Jaroslav Halak and Martin Brodeur in the second and third rounds as I thought that hopefully having two goalies go past the first round was good strategy. My best value pick was Nicklas Backstrom in the 17th round (165th overall), especially since Alex Ovechkin went 54th overall. I have six Canucks, six Rangers and four Blues. If two of those teams go to the Cup final, I'm sitting pretty.

Editor’s note: Backstrom has to be the steal of the draft.

Jimmy Hascup

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	6	Claude Giroux	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
2	15	Jonathan Quick	G	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
3	26	Mike Smith	G	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
4	35	Jonathan Toews	F	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
5	46	David Perron	F	St. Louis Blues	MANUAL
6	55	Shea Weber	D	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
7	66	Anze Kopitar	F	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
8	75	Logan Couture	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
9	86	Braden Holtby	G	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
10	95	Brandon Dubinsky	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
11	106	Brian Campbell	D	Florida Panthers	MANUAL
12	115	Drew Doughty	D	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
13	126	Jeff Carter	F	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
14	135	Dan Girardi	D	New York Rangers	MANUAL
15	146	Brian Boyle	F	New York Rangers	MANUAL
16	155	Justin Williams	F	Los Angeles Kings	MANUAL
17	166	Brayden Schenn	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
18	175	Kyle Turris	F	Ottawa Senators	MANUAL
19	186	Anton Stralman	D	New York Rangers	MANUAL
20	195	Paul Gaustad	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL

My thoughts: Jimmy’s roster is chock full of value – especially if the Pacific Division teams handle themselves well in the postseason.

Marc Lapierre

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	7	Marc-Andre Fleury	G	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
2	14	Pekka Rinne	G	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
3	27	Jordan Staal	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
4	34	Antti Niemi	G	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
5	47	Steve Sullivan	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
6	54	Alex Ovechkin	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
7	67	Joe Thornton	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
8	74	Craig Anderson	G	Ottawa Senators	MANUAL
9	87	Matt Cooke	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
10	94	Paul Martin	D	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
11	107	Matt Niskanen	D	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
12	114	Michal Neuvirth	G	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
13	127	Dan Hamhuis	D	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL
14	134	Adam Henrique	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
15	147	Petr Sykora	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
16	154	Andrei Kostitsyn	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
17	167	Brooks Laich	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
18	174	Craig Smith	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
19	187	Marcus Johansson	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
20	194	Mathieu Perreault	F	Washington Capitals	MANUAL

Marc’s explanation: This might seem about as basic as it gets but it’s essential to know the unique characteristics of your league's scoring system as this will affect not only how you draft and who you pick but also how you set your lineup. NHL playoff pools are more about picking teams than players, but with our scoring system and league configuration, I decided to load up on goaltenders and hopefully take advantage of the daily transactions setting to accumulate a lot of points early between the pipes. Like everyone else participating tonight, my other goal was to target players on teams that I think will go deep in the playoffs and decided to go Pittsburgh in the East and Nashville in the West.

Brian Rosenbaum

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	8	Tim Thomas	G	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
2	13	Pavel Datsyuk	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
3	28	Zdeno Chara	D	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
4	33	Milan Lucic	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
5	48	Johan Franzen	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
6	53	Nicklas Lidstrom	D	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
7	68	Joe Pavelski	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
8	73	Patrick Marleau	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
9	88	Dan Boyle	D	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
10	93	Martin Havlat	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
11	108	Ryane Clowe	F	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
12	113	Brent Burns	D	San Jose Sharks	MANUAL
13	128	Todd Bertuzzi	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL
14	133	Dainius Zubrus	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
15	148	Ray Emery	G	Chicago Blackhawks	MANUAL
16	153	Marek Zidlicky	D	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
17	168	Brian Rolston	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
18	173	Alexei Ponikarovsky	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
19	188	Dennis Seidenberg	D	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
20	193	Darren Helm	F	Detroit Red Wings	MANUAL

My take: Boy, that’s a formidable team, isn’t it? Rosenbaum loaded up on quality players from quality teams, with the only conceivable issue being perhaps that Ray Emery might not bring much value as a second goalie. How many people have a full rotation of netminders anyway, though?

Kevin Brown

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	9	Daniel Sedin	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
2	12	Henrik Sedin	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
3	29	Ryan Kesler	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
4	32	Cory Schneider	G	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
5	49	Alexandre Burrows	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
6	52	Patrick Sharp	F	Chicago Blackhawks	AUTO
7	69	Derek Stepan	F	New York Rangers	AUTO
8	72	Chris Higgins	F	Vancouver Canucks	AUTO
9	89	Kris Versteeg	F	Florida Panthers	AUTO
10	92	Jose Theodore	G	Florida Panthers	AUTO
11	109	Tomas Fleischmann	F	Florida Panthers	AUTO
12	112	Stephen Weiss	F	Florida Panthers	AUTO
13	129	Milan Michalek	F	Ottawa Senators	AUTO
14	132	Daniel Alfredsson	F	Ottawa Senators	AUTO
15	149	Sean Bergenheim	F	Florida Panthers	AUTO
16	152	Andrew Shaw	F	Chicago Blackhawks	AUTO
17	169	Jason Garrison	D	Florida Panthers	AUTO
18	172	Johnny Boychuk	D	Boston Bruins	AUTO
19	189	Dmitry Kulikov	D	Florida Panthers	MANUAL
20	192	Marc-Andre Gragnani	D	Vancouver Canucks	MANUAL

Kevin’s explanation: The strategy for playoff pools is simple - pick a couple of teams you feel comfortable with and load up as much as you can. By the time I picked in the first round, the best Penguins had already been taken so I turned my attention westward to Vancouver. After filling my roster with Canucks, I looked for value in the Eastern Conference and found the Panthers roster virtually untouched so I chose some of their top players and will now hope for an upset over the Devils, which is certainly possible given the fact they have home-ice advantage in the series.

Ryan Dadoun

Round	Pick	Player Name	Pos	Team	Pick Type
1	10	James Neal	F	Pittsburgh Penguins	MANUAL
2	11	Tyler Seguin	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
3	30	Ilya Bryzgalov	G	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
4	31	Brad Marchand	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
5	50	Patrice Bergeron	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
6	51	Scott Hartnell	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
7	70	Patrik Elias	F	New Jersey Devils	MANUAL
8	71	Alexander Radulov	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
9	90	Kimmo Timonen	D	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
10	91	Matt Carle	D	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
11	110	David Legwand	F	Nashville Predators	MANUAL
12	111	Wayne Simmonds	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
13	130	Andrew Ference	D	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
14	131	Benoit Pouliot	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
15	150	Tomas Vokoun	G	Washington Capitals	MANUAL
16	151	Matt Read	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL
17	170	Lauri Korpikoski	F	Phoenix Coyotes	MANUAL
18	171	Jordan Caron	F	Boston Bruins	MANUAL
19	190	Sergei Gonchar	D	Ottawa Senators	MANUAL
20	191	James van Riemsdyk	F	Philadelphia Flyers	MANUAL

Ryan’s explanation: I went into this draft with one goal: Draft a goaltender in the first round before all the good ones are taken. Unfortunately, I got stuck with the last pick and, knowing my competition knows the value of a good goaltender, I immediately tossed out my plan. The big four in my mind - Luongo, Thomas, Lundqvist, and Fleury - all got scooped up before my first pick, so I decided to just grab the two best players available from the two teams most likely to go far: James Neal and Tyler Seguin. From there, because it would be so long before my next pick, my basic strategy was just to see what everyone else did. At this point I was searching for two or maybe three teams I could focus on. The goalies continued to be grabbed at a brisk pace, so when I finally got to go again, I took the best one still available - Ilya Bryzgalov - as well as Brad Marchand. With Bryzgalov on my team, I instantly became a Flyers fan and drafted accordingly. My fallback teams were Boston and, to a much lesser extent, Nashville. On rare exceptions, I deviated from those three to take a player I felt had gone undrafted for too long, such as Patrik Elias with the 70th overall pick.

Overall, I'm not too unhappy with the teams I ended up leaning towards. Philadelphia and Nashville are considered risks and consequently, a fair number of their better players were available later. At the same time, they're both teams with a legitimate shot of moving forward. Boston is regarded as a safer bet, so by the time we got into the mid-to-late rounds, they had pretty much been picked clean, but I still got a couple of their better players like Seguin, Marchand, and Seguin. If playoff pools, I usually build teams to come in either first or last depending on if my primary gamble pays off. This team isn't that much of an extreme, but it does have that sort of sentiment. Overall, I'm okay with my team, but at the same time, my goaltending is a mess and that flaw will be tough to overcome.

****

Hopefully this little draft acts as a Mock Draft of sorts for you. Don't make fun of my picks too much in the comments, though.