Friday, July 31, 2009

Cycle Like Sedins NHL re-draft - July 31

This post will be randomly edited and updated throughout the day by me/James, as we see picks being made, so keep checking back, or just go to the picks board to see the latest happenings.

Post your caption in the comments!

#19 (#49) - Chris Mason's facial hair goes to the Phoenix Coyotes
Cap hit: 3.000M/yr

#20 (#50) - Patrick Marleau goes to the St. Louis Blues
Cap hit: 6.300M/yr

#21 (#51) - Marian Hossa returns to the Atlanta Thrashers
Cap hit: 5.233M/yr

#22 (#52) - Shea Weber to the Nashville Predators
Cap hit: 4.500M/yr

#23 (#53) - Pekka Rinne to the Edmonton Oilers
Cap hit: 0.725M/yr

#24 (#54) - Marian Gaborik to the Philadelphia Flyers
Cap hit: 7.500M/yr

#25 (#55) - Tomas Vokoun to the New York Islanders
Cap hit: 5.700M/yr

#26 (#56) - Jonas Hiller to the Chicago Blackhawks
Cap hit: 1.300M/yr

#27 (#57) - Corey Perry to the Dallas Stars
Cap hit: 5.325M/yr

#28 (#58) - Mike Cammalleri to the Tampa Bay Lightning
Cap hit: 6.000M/yr

#29 (#59) - Jonathan Quick to the Vancouver Canucks
Cap hit: 0.770M/yr

#30 (#60) - Mikko Koivu to the Calgary Flames
Cap hit: 3.250M/yr

#1 (#61) - Martin Biron to the Calgary Flames
Cap hit: 1.400M/yr

#2 (#62) - Shane Doan to the Vancouver Canucks
Cap hit: 4.550M/yr

#3 (#63) - Mark Streit to the Tampa Bay Lightning
Cap hit: 4.100M/yr

#4 (#64) - Scott Clemmensen to the Dallas Stars
Cap hit: 1.800M/yr

#5 (#65) - Brian Rafalski to the Chicago Blackhawks
Cap hit: 6.000M/yr

#6 (#66) - Daniel Sedin to the New York Islanders
Cap hit: 6.100M/yr

#7 (#67) - Travis Zajac to the Edmonton Oilers
Cap hit: 3.888M/yr

#8 (#68) - Ryan Kesler to the Edmonton Oilers
Cap hit: 1.750M/yr

#9 (#69) - Simeon Varlamov to the Nashville Predators
Cap hit: 0.822M/yr

#10 (#70) - Marty Turco to the Atlanta Thrashers
Cap hit: 5.700M/yr

Our first trade has also occurred! The Philadelphia Flyers have traded their 3rd rounder (#67) and their 10th rounder (some big number) to the Edmonton Oilers for their 4th (#113) and 5th (#128).

Thursday's picks

Pictured: Marc Andre Fleury

Marc Andre Fleury goes to Rudy Kelly/LA Kings

Cap Hit: $5,000,000

***

Duncan Keith goes to Joe/Detroit

Cap Hit: $1,475,000 (Damn you, Joe)

***

Jason Spezza goes to Brenn/CBJ

Cap Hit: $7,000,000

***

Jay Bouwmeester goes to Rob/Washington

Cap Hit: $6,680,000 (Librarians really aren't coming cheap these days, are they?)

***

Devin Setoguchi goes to Frank D/Pittsburgh

Cap Hit: $1,246,667 (Nice!)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Picks Update

35. Patrick Kane goes to Vance (Bangin Panger and Double Edged Sabres)/the Buffalo Sabres

Cap Hit: $3,725,000

36. Evgeni Nabokov goes to Hockey Blog Adventure/Boston

Cap Hit: $5,375,000

37. Cam Ward goes to Sens at Land's End/Ottawa

Cap Hit: $2,666,667

38. Dany Heatley goes to Fear the Fin/San Jose

Cap Hit: $7,500,000

39. Alex Semin goes to Sports and the City-CLS/Toronto

Cap Hit: $4,600,000

40. Martin St. Louis goes to In Lou We Trust/New Jersey

Cap Hit: $5,250,000

41. Dan Boyle goes to Scotty Hockey/New York Rangers

Cap Hit: $6,666,667 (does he worship Satan?)

42. Dion Phaneuf goes to Life and Times of a Caniac/Carolina

Cap Hit: $6,500,000

43. Ryan Miller goes to The Royal Half/Minnesota

Cap Hit: $6,250,000

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Wazzupwitchu's Laura shares her Earliest Hockey Memories

Logo by Gray from Couch Tarts

Because we're on the verge of passing out, we'll keep this brief: Laura is awesome. You can follow her work on Wazzupwitchu and she recently became a member of St. Louis Blues Gametime, the awesome and gigantic Blues blog for Sports Blog Nation. Congrats, Laura aka Hildy aka Hildymac, and thanks for your contributions!

Here goes... I was little, so there might be a few mistakes in there somewhere. But hey, who can remember back to when they were 8, huh?

Growing up in St. Louis, as anyone who is from there can tell you, there is one game in town: Cardinals baseball. Everyone eats, sleeps, and breathes it - the Post Dispatch would give a Cards/Cubs game bigger coverage than if the Mississippi flowed backwards again (look it up - swear it happened). The Cardinals and their ten World Series wins are the pride and joy of St. Louis sports, and while I will be a Cardinals fan until the day that I die, there's another team in town who I love just as much - and I don't care that they haven't won the Cup.

When I was probably 8 or so, and how this started is iffy, I began watching Blues games on TV. KPLR showed (and did so with some until last season) the Blues home games, and I guess flipping around TV I landed on one. When I was that age, well... that was the beginning of the age of Hull. Luckily I started watching during the end of the Hull and Oates team-up, so I got to see that amazingness first hand. I was fortunate to begin my tenure as a bona fide fan of the Blues during the era with CuJo (new CuJo, not shell of his former self CuJo), Shannahan, Janney, Mrs. Janney, MacInnis, and Hull. My strongest two memories of being a little kid and loving hockey are playing floor hockey with the dog - he was probably not a willing participant - by taping a 12 inch and a 6 inch ruler together as a stick and using one of his tennis balls as a puck; and watching the 1993 series sweep of the Blackhawks in the 1st round of the playoffs. I still remember, as clear as day, the front page headline of the Post-Dispatch: "SWEEP" - complete with a picture of a crying (and probably screaming... damn PMS) Eddie Belfour. I actually think that I have a copy of that still somewhere, though I'm not sure where it is.

My grandmother of all people got me started collecting hockey cards, as well as a subscription to Beckett's hockey price guide, which is a tradition I still continue with my monthly on-line subscription. This collecting of cards made me aware at a really young age of who the best players were, who the up and coming guys were, all their stats, and of course contributed to my unhealthy goaltender crush. I moved down to Georgia in 1993 which completely killed my hockey trading card addiction, as well as prohibited me from finding friends to whack street hockey balls against the side of the house. I only had my Super Nintendo, NHL '94, a Blues sweatshirt, and some autographs from Hull, Shanny, and CuJo to get me through those dark, horrible, hockeyless days until 1999 when the Thrashers showed up and I got to watch their first game, a 4-1 loss to the Devils, in person. I adore the Thrashers (as much as they'll let me) but because of where I'm from and the warmth that I associate with these early hockey memories of a childhood past, well, the Blues are my boys and are still my hometown team.

Florida Panthers two-pack

Photo featuring one of the sluttier members of the Booth clan

Making up for lost time, Litter Box Cats selects these two players on behalf of the Florida Panthers:

1. David Booth

Cap Hit:
$4,250,000

2. Steve Mason

Cap Hit: $900,000

(For the record, I'd like to take 90 to 100 percent credit for the Mason pick. Damn me and my hasty e-mails. The Booth pick was all Whale4Ever, though.)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Catching up with today's picks

(So, there was a bit of a snafu. Perhaps we'll divulge the minute details when our eyes aren't twitching from fatigue. In the mean time, we'll just lay down the picks and their cap hits.)

"28th" pick: Eric Staal to the Anaheim Ducks by way of Crash the Crease.

Cap Hit: $8,250,000

29th pick: Scott Niedermayer to the Montreal Canadiens by way of Posts for a Post/JC

Scott Nidermayer (left) to Getzlaf on his hair loss: "It's not your fault. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!"

Cap Hit: $6,750,000

30th pick: Simon Gagne to the Colorado Avalanche by way of Jibblescribbits

Cap Hit: $5,250,000

31st pick (first of the second round): Mike Ribeiro to the Avs by way of Jibbles

Cap Hit: $5,000,000

32nd pick: Anze Kopitar to the Montreal Canadiens by way of Posts for a Post

Cap Hit: $6,800,000

33rd pick: Tim Thomas to the Anaheim Ducks by Crash the Crease

Cap Hit: $5,000,000

Monday, July 27, 2009

With the 26th overall pick, the Buffalo Sabres select...

#26 - Henrik Zetterberg to the Buffalo Sabres (selected by Vance of BanginPanger)

A picture of Hank's girlfriend is way better than a picture of Hank himself

Cap hit: 6.083M/yr

Update: Thoughts from Vance at Double Edged Sabres.

With the 25h overall pick, the Boston Bruins select...

#25 - Joe Thornton to the Boston Bruins (selected by Cornelius Hardenbergh of Hockey Blog Adventure)

Obviously, Cornelius beat the shit out of Thornton and dragged him back to Boston

Cap hit: 7.200M/yr

(...something... can be found here. And apparently Cornelius immediately zeroed in on the same picture of Thornton that I did)

With the 24th overall pick, the Ottawa Senators select...

#24 - Rick Nash to the Ottawa Senators (selected by Meaghan of Sens At Land's End)

Rick Nash
He's so dreamy!

Cap hit: 5.400M/yr

Meaghan's dicsussion of the pick can be found here.

With the 23rd Overall Pick, the San Jose Sharks select....

Captain Elbows to the San Jose Sharks by Jason at Fear the Fin.

A still image from the unreleased Chris Pronger sex tape.


Cap Hit: $6,250,000

A message from the desk of Eyebleaf, virtual Burke replacement (Pick 22)

First of all, the Toronto Maple Leafs would like to take a moment to thank Cycle Like The Sedins for their more than generous hospitality. It's a pleasure to take part in this most interesting endeavor.

We'd also like to make it a point NOT to congratulate the Pittsburgh Penguins. Fuck those guys; we were cheering for the Detroit Red Wings.

Without further adieu, with the 22nd pick in the Cycle Like The Sedins fantasy draft, the Toronto Maple Leafs are proud to select centre MARC SAVARD.

12. Marc Savard to the Toronto Maple Leafs by EyebLeaf

Cap Hit: $5,000,000

Sunday, July 26, 2009

The OTHER Backstrom is fictionally reunited with Jacques Lemaire (Pick 21)

Sadly, there are no silly photos of him.

21. John from In Lou We Trust brings Niklas Backstrom to the New Jersey Devils.

Cap Hit: $6,000,000

Dreaming of a Sather-free Rangers (Pick #20)


20. Miikka Kiprusoff goes to Scotty Hockey and the New York Rangers.

Cap Hit: $5,833,333

With the 19th pick, the Canes take:

(H/T to Puck Daddy for the Brody 'stache greatness.)

19. Ashley from Life and Times of a Caniac picks Martin Brodeur.

Cap Hit: $5,200,000

With the 18th Pick, The Minnesota Wild...

have decided to change their team name and logo back to the way it should be:

Listen, if this truly is a Fantasy GM exercise... then I do what I want!

Oh, and The Royal Half selects Mike Richards with the 18th pick.


Cap Hit: $5,750,000 (check out my thoughts on this selection.)

With the 17th overall pick, the Los Angeles Kings select...

#17 - Jeff Carter to the Los Angeles Kings (selected by Rudy Kelly at the Battle of California)

Carter3.jpg image by Davepoo1
Looks like he'll fit right in on the beaches of SoCal

Cap hit: 5.000M/yr

(discussion of this pick can be found here)

With the 16th overall pick, the Detroit Red Wings select...

#16 - Jarome Iginla to the Detroit Red Wings (selected by Sacrifice The Body)

My captain has 10 times more heart than your captain

Cap hit: 7.000M/yr

(For discussion of the pick, be sure to click here.)

With the 15th overall pick, the Columbus Blue Jackets select...

#15 - Zdeno Chara to the Columbus Blue Jackets (selected by BrennQuenn)

Nearly as big as his cap hit!

Cap hit: 7.500M/yr

(This puts me on the clock, and I was really considering Chara. I hate you, Brenn.)

With the 14th overall pick, the Washington Capitals select...

#14 - Nicklas Backstrom to the Washington Capitals (selected by Storming The Crease)

I'M ON A BOAT


Cap hit: 2.400M/yr

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Earliest hockey articles (Slow Saturday reading)

Whoa, easy. Someone can't take a "floss" joke.

On a slow Saturday since some of our Armchair GMS are undergoing some scheduling conflicts, the subject of the great coming of age book "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" came up. It reminded me of the fact that I forced a few hockey articles on my college newspaper a loooong time ago.

Being that its fairly certain that these are the first hockey articles I ever posted, it might be fun to read these underdeveloped little pieces from an era in which it seemed that I might become a real journalist. (You'll probably see why that never happened).

So here's three posts, with a brief description and a self aggrandizing one-liner/excerpt.

1. "Here's Hoping the NHL sticks to its guns" (Published: July 25, 2005)

My Crosby-centric article written in the summer before the first pro-lockout season.
"After the New Jersey Devils shocked the heavily favored Detroit Red Wings in the1994 Finals with the awful-for-TV neutral zone trap, the league would see more "clutching and grabbing" than a North American Man/Boy Love Association convention. "
2. "Younger, goonless NHL brings change from the ordinary" (Published: October 14, 2005)
Another article from the original post-lockout season, this one with a hysterical mug shot.
"Goons have been described as "dancing grizzly bears," but honestly, I don't want to insult the agility of those gigantic yet intriguing creatures."
3. NHL Heckling Guide (Published: October 4, 2006)

Don't be shocked if this becomes one of next season's big features (the concept, not the rushed column).

"Do you hate old people? Then bring a walker to the AAC when the Red Wings come to town and heckle 44-year-old defenseman Chris Chelios."

And, eff it, since hockey and mustaches are inexorably linked:

4. Moustache Mania (Published: August 29, 2006)

So, I became editor in chief of a college newspaper. What do I do? Devote a huge center spread feature to the 'stache. Jeez.
"Judging from Josef Stalin's bushy moustache and Hitler's, well, "Hitler moustache" … it almost goes without saying that if you want to take over the world, you cannot put up a respectable effort while clean-shaven.

I mean, seriously, how can you expect to be truly evil if you cannot stroke your moustache and cackle with your minions? Even Saddam Hussein, a noted failure, acknowledged the moustache requirement.

Looking back, it's hard to wrap my mind around the sex symbol status of Moustache Hall of Fame member Burt Reynolds. Sure, I'm jealous of his bear-like hairy chest. I'm only human. But I don't quite understand the Reynolds phenomenon."
Note: Sundaytainment will probably still be posted tomorrow, but it might be late due to expected hangover complications.

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Penguins get the OTHER other ridiculously talented Russian (pick 13)

13. Ilya Kovalchuk goes to Pensburgh/the Pittsburgh Penguins

Cap Hit: $6,389,300

Howling for Faux-hawks? (Pick #12)

12. The Phoenix Coyotes/Odin Mercer from Five for Howling pick Mike Green. Arizona hair product manufacturers scramble to prepare stock for October.

Cap Hit: $5,250,000

O-zone Impact: troubling

(OK, that's my last faux hawk joke. For today.)

Since this probably won't happen again

Ballhype is a nice promotional site and all, but we have to admit we found this ranking a bit ... shocking (click to enlarge):


Their ranking system is based on outbound links, so it makes sense that our contribution-oriented blog would be grossly inflated in their ranking system. Still, we thought this was shocking enough to share with you since it probably isn't something that will last very long.

The draft? Yeah, it's been kind of a big deal. Sheesh.

We cannot thank everyone who's contributed enough, as well as every blog kind enough to link to us. Please support and follow each re-draft GM's blogs, as well as the ones in our massive sidebar and the ones we carelessly forget to link.

Five Hole Fanatics

Vancity Canuck

Raw Charge

Defending Big D

All Hawks Hockey

Lighthouse Hockey

Strange Deadfellows

Section 303

Wazzupwitchu

Five for Howling

Pensburgh

Storming the Crease

Sacrifice the Body

Battle of California

Royal Half

Life and Times of a Caniac

Scotty Hockey

In Lou We Trust

Sports and the City

Fear the Fin

Sens at Land's End

Hockey Blog Adventure

Bangin Panger

Litter Box Cats

Crash the Crease

JC NHL

Jibblescribbits

We cannot thank you enough. Seriously.

Laura gives many the goaltending Blues (11th pick)

11. Roberto Luongo goes to St. Louis, picked by Laura from St. Louis Game Time and Wazzupwitchu.

Cap Hit: $6,750,000

Pick #10: the Atlanta Thrashers

The Thrashers keep Vincent Lecavalier in the Southeast Division by selecting him with the 10th pick. (Pick by Matt Gunn. Follow him on Twitter.)

Cap Hit: $7,727,273

Coming to the podium are the Nashville Predators...

#9 - Ryan Getzlaf to the Nashville Predators (selected by Jeremy and Codey from Section303.com)



Cap hit: $5,325,00

The Edmonton Oilers scoop up:

8. Zach Parise goes to Edmonton. (Thoughts from Strange Deadfellows)


Cap Hit: $3,125,000

Thursday, July 23, 2009

With the 7th overall pick, the Philadelphia Flyers select...

#7 - Pavel Datsyuk to the Philadelphia Flyers (selected by Paul Hinrichsen)


Cap hit: 6.700M/yr

(How the hell does a multiple Lady Byng winner go to the FLYERS?)


With the 6th overall pick, the New York Islanders select...

6. Nicklas Lidstrom to the New York Islanders (selected by Lighthouse Hockey)

I think we all imagined that Lidstrom would finish his career on Long Island.

Cap Hit: $7,450,000

With the 5th overall pick, the Chicago Blackhawks select...

FYI... James is on special assignment so we'll be posting the selections throughout the day.

5. Jonathan Toews
to the Chicago Blackhawks (selected by All Hawks Hockey)

No, my shoulder feels fine, why do you ask?

Cap Hit: $2,800,000

With the 4th overall pick, the Dallas Stars select...

4. Evgeni Malkin to the Dallas Stars (selected by Defending Big D)


Wait, I'm going where? Is there a beach nearby?

Cap Hit: $8,700,000

Defending Big D's thoughts.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

SHOCKING news:(Pick No. 3)

Edit: Cassie's reasoning for picking Lundqvist. Good stuff, Raw Charge folks.

(It's a pun, you see.)

With the #3 pick of the Re-Draft, Cassie of Raw Charge takes ...

Henrik Lundqvist to the Tampa Bay Lightning.

Cap Hit: $6,875,000

With the second pick, the Vancouver Canucks select:

2. Sidney Crosby to the Vancouver Canucks (selected by Vancity Canuck)

Crosby rocks a Canadian tuxedo for the occasion!

Cap Hit: $8,700,000

Vancity Canuck's thoughts

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 26-30!

Finally, we have reached the end of the draft order! 25 teams have been awarded their slots in the CLS Re-drafting the League project, and only 5 teams remain. The first 25 look something like this:

#1) Calgary Flames (Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/Matchsticks & Gasoline)
#2) Vancouver Canucks (Vancity Canuck)
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning (Cassie and/or Raw Charge)
#4) Dallas Stars (Defending Big D)
#5) Chicago Blackhawks (All Hawks - Clare)
#6) New York Islanders
#7) Philadelphia Flyers (Paul Hinrichsen)
#8) Edmonton Oilers (Strange Deadfellows)
#9) Nashville Predators (Section 303)
#10) Atlanta Thrashers (Blueland Chronicle)
#11) St. Louis Blues (Laura of Wazzupwitchu/SLGT)
#12) Phoenix Coyotes (Five For Howling)
#13) Pittsburgh Penguins (Pensburgh)
#14) Washington Capitals (Storming the Crease)
#15) Columbus Blue Jackets Brennan
#16) Detroit Red Wings (Sacrifice the Body)
#17) Los Angeles Kings (Rudy Kelly)
#18) Minnesota Wild Chris Kontos possibly
#19) Carolina Hurricanes (Life and Times of a Caniac)
#20) New York Rangers (Scotty Hockey)
#21) New Jersey Devils (In Lou We Trust)
#22) Toronto Maple Leafs (Eyebleaf - Sports and the City)
#23) San Jose Sharks (Mr. Plank - Fear The Fin)
#24) Ottawa Senators - Meghan
#25) Boston Bruins (Hockey Blog Adventure)

Yes, that only leaves Montreal, Colorado, Buffalo, Florida, and Anaheim to pick in some order from 26-30. And that order is...

#26) Buffalo Sabres (Vance)
#27) Florida Panthers (Litter Box Cats)
#28) Anaheim Ducks (Crash The Crease)
#29) Montreal Canadiens (JC)
#30) Colorado Avalanche (Jibblescribbits)

So there you have it, your 2009-10 CLS Re-drafting the League draft order! Kent and the Calgary Flames, you are officially on the clock!

Fear the Fin's Mr. Plank shares his Earliest Hockey Memories

Logo by Gray from Couch Tarts

We consider many of our favorite CLS contributors borderline friends, despite the fact that we might not be able to pick them out of a lineup. However, Mr. Plank is one of the rare souls who not only had the bad luck/opportunity to meet with us, but to see us absolutely sloshed. As part of his black mail campaign that began that night, we are required to direct you to Fear the Fin and to tell you that his little avatar thing is misleading. That handlebar mustache is merely meant to distract you from the fact that he's devastatingly handsome.

Despite being way too much of a stud to blog like the rest of us, we're glad he does. Fear to Fin is a great San Jose Sharks blog. Make sure to check it out. If you don't, Plank will totally break your girlfriend's heart just because he can. Seriously.

***

A fact that will come as a shock to some of you (sans the WBT crew that has graciously made the move with me), I wasn't born a Sharks fan, nor was I even born in the Golden State. As is the standard with most Hollywood based storylines (you should see the clubs I frequent based off this FTF gig), it's best to dig in where it all began.

I was born on October 25, 1987 in St. Paul Minnesota, a state that is commonly known as The Land of 10,000 Lakes; lakes that receive a heavy dose of wear and tear during the long winters, humbly offering a simple yet eloquent medium for exercise and sport.

St. Paul, Minnesota. We think.

What better way to take advantage of Mother Nature than hockey eh?

The love for hockey woven into the veins of Minnesota made it easy for anyone to enjoy. The high school state tournament was a frequent destination for my father (who was born in Wabasha, the town where Grumpy Old Men was based), and at the ripe age of three he found it in my best interest to drag me along. How right he was. Details don't come easy at that age, but from what I can remember, the one thing that drew my attention was the culture of the sport. There's something magical about being physically cold- it forces you to emit heat from your heart through a smile or a wave at random passerby (something that may be considered a law in Minnesota). Coupled with the elegant speed of the skaters, viciousness of a body check, and general pandemonium when a goal is scored? A fairly easy choice, as I'm sure you all can agree.

From them on I was hooked, and rightfully so. The next week I purchased my first pair of skates and headed out onto Lake of The Isles to practice with my dad. We skated for what seemed like sunup to sundown (in reality it was probably an hour or so, and I doubt I was able to skate all that much), and came home to a piping hot plate of chicken cacciatore and rhubarb pie. Ah, those were the days.

Yes, this was placed here to make you hungry because we're cruel.

When the winter wasn't in full force my dad and I would play in the basement. We weren't strapped for money persay, but hockey was an expensive sport- I never got an opportunity to play it competitively. Regardless, in that basement it didn't matter at all. I would strap a pillowcase on each of my legs (mimicking the future of goaltending equipment quite well I must add- those things made the five hole look like a pinhole), a baseball glove in my left hand, a stick signed by Neal Broten in my right, and a laundry basket set up behind me serving as the goal. My dad would tee up socks, bunched up in balls of three, and fire them at me while I did my best to shut the door on his Stanley Cup dreams.

At night he would tell me stories about the great Phil Housley, probably the greatest player to come from the great state of Minnesota (and one of the greatest American-born players of all time); tales of watching him at the high school hockey tournament looking like a man amongst boys, how he played in the All-Star game at the age of 18, how his swift skating and rocket from the point was the thing scouts salivated over.

My favorite team was obviously the Minnesota North Stars (a franchise that has a rather peculiar history with the Golden Seals and San Jose Sharks- funny how things work out sometimes). My favorite player was Neal Broten and Mike Modano, probably due to my dad's influence. I vaguely remember the Stars magical run to the Stanley Cup Playoffs in '91, and was just beginning to immerse myself into the team when they packed up and left for Dallas.

It's one thing I'll never forgive, and frankly makes the Sharks rivalry with them all the more bitter for me. I sincerely hope they manage to worm their way into a playoff spot this season and finally get what they deserve.

Hell hath no fury like a six year old scorned.

After moving out to California, the groundwork for my impending fandom was set. My dad would take me to games on occasion, but unfortunately didn't quite warm up to the team in the warm climate of California. To be fair though, Owen Nolan's inclusion onto the Sharks roster got me lots of tickets at The Tank. I guess it's not too hard to enjoy a player that has the ability to ignite a fanbase like number 11 would continue to do during his career in San Jose.

If I had to name the most visceral moment as a San Jose Shark fan it would be game three of the 06' series with Edmonton- not due to it's heroics, but because of how helpless it made me feel. The Sharks were about ten minutes away from taking a 3-0 strangehold on the series when Chris Pronger tied the game. Two overtimes later some hack puts it past Tosk and the Sharks melt down. I think Big Joe hit about two posts that game as well.

Not the most pleasant memory, but it's the one that burns the brightest.

In summation, my hockey history has been one that has had a great beginning and looks to have an excellent future. Although the summer sun is soaking the skin of co-eds across California right now, the drab and dreary clutch of winter is where I feel at home.

Is it October yet?



Go Sharks.

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 21-25!

Welcome to the last day of the CLS Re-drafting the League draft order revealing! So far, through 20 teams and 2 days, the list looks like such:

#1) Calgary Flames (Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/Matchsticks & Gasoline)
#2) Vancouver Canucks (Vancity Canuck)
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning (Cassie and/or Raw Charge)
#4) Dallas Stars (Defending Big D)
#5) Chicago Blackhawks (All Hawks - Clare)
#6) New York Islanders
#7) Philadelphia Flyers (Paul Hinrichsen)
#8) Edmonton Oilers (Strange Deadfellows)
#9) Nashville Predators (Section 303)
#10) Atlanta Thrashers (Blueland Chronicle)
#11) St. Louis Blues (Laura of Wazzupwitchu/SLGT)
#12) Phoenix Coyotes (Five For Howling)
#13) Pittsburgh Penguins (Pensburgh)
#14) Washington Capitals (Storming the Crease)
#15) Columbus Blue Jackets
#16) Detroit Red Wings (Sacrifice the Body)
#17) Los Angeles Kings (Rudy Kelly)
#18) Minnesota Wild
#19) Carolina Hurricanes (Life and Times of a Caniac)
#20) New York Rangers (Scotty Hockey)

We only have 10 teams left, so who placed into slots 21-25?

#21) New Jersey Devils (In Lou We Trust)
#22) Toronto Maple Leafs (Eyebleaf - Sports and the City)
#23) San Jose Sharks (Mr. Plank - Fear The Fin)
#24) Ottawa Senators
#25) Boston Bruins (Hockey Blog Adventure)

If you're one of the last 5 who doesn't have a team, then you can tune in later tonight to see what spot you'll be selecting at. If you already know where your draft slot is, tune in anyways to laugh at the teams that got screwed into the end of the draft!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 16-20!

So far, we've revealed the first half of the draft order for the CLS Re-drafting the League project. The first 15 is littered with a bunch of smaller markets and non-marquee teams that no one (read: the MSM) really cares about.

#1) Calgary Flames (Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/Matchsticks & Gasoline)
#2) Vancouver Canucks (Vancity Canuck)
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning (Cassie and/or Raw Charge)
#4) Dallas Stars (Defending Big D)
#5) Chicago Blackhawks (All Hawks - Clare)
#6) New York Islanders either Dominik or Chris Kontos
#7) Philadelphia Flyers (Paul Hinrichsen)
#8) Edmonton Oilers (Strange Deadfellows)
#9) Nashville Predators (Section 303)
#10) Atlanta Thrashers (Blueland Chronicle)
#11) St. Louis Blues (Laura of Wazzupwitchu/SLGT)
#12) Phoenix Coyotes (Five For Howling)
#13) Pittsburgh Penguins (Pensburgh)
#14) Washington Capitals (Storming the Crease)
#15) Columbus Blue Jackets Brennan

Fortunately, this evening's update gets to some really big important teams, plus Carolina and Minnesota. Gotta keep NBC happy, right?

#16) Detroit Red Wings (Sacrifice the Body)
#17) Los Angeles Kings (Rudy Kelly)
#18) Minnesota Wild Kontos or mystery guest?
#19) Carolina Hurricanes (Life and Times of a Caniac)
#20) New York Rangers (Scotty Hockey)

Tomorrow morning, we'll reveal picks 21-25, and then we'll cap off the evening with picks 26-30!

Ovie on the Flames: a great Photoshop by Scotty Hockey

With the first pick in the NHL Re-Draft, Kent/Calgary selects ...

The Calgary Flames select:
Apparently, Kent took Ovie's imaginary Jimi Hendrix celebration as an omen

1. Alex Ovechkin
(Kent's thoughts)

Cap Hit: $9,538,462 (according to Cap Geek.com)

Numerous brownie points will be awarded if anyone can come up with a decent Photoshop of Ovie in a Flames jersey. (send it to jamestobrien@hotmail.com)

Message board post
Snark thread

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 11-15!

Yesterday, we revealed the top 10 picks of the CLS Re-drafting the League project. Those picks were:


#1) Calgary Flames (Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/Matchsticks & Gasoline)
#2) Vancouver Canucks (Vancity Canuck)
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning (Cassie and/or Raw Charge)
#4) Dallas Stars (Defending Big D)
#5) Chicago Blackhawks (All Hawks - Clare)
#6) New York Islanders Edit: either Dominik from Lighthouse Hockey or Chris Kontos
#7) Philadelphia Flyers (Paul Hinrichsen)
#8) Edmonton Oilers (Strange Deadfellows)
#9) Nashville Predators (Section 303)
#10) Atlanta Thrashers (Blueland Chronicle)

Rounding out the first half of the first round...

#11) St. Louis Blues (Laura of Wazzupwitchu/SLGT)
#12) Phoenix Coyotes (Five For Howling)
#13) Pittsburgh Penguins (Pensburgh)
#14) Washington Capitals (Storming the Crease)
#15) Columbus Blue Jackets Edit: Brennan

Come back again this evening to see picks 16-20 revealed! And be sure to holler at O'Brien if you're interested in being general manager of a team that hasn't been taken yet!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Re-Draft Message Board is up

Since there may be a disconnect existing between myself and a few of the Armchair GMs (if you're reading this and haven't received an e-mail or two yet, check your spam mail or drop me a line at jamestobrien@hotmail.com) we thought it would be smart to announce that we started a quick-and-dirty message board for this re-draft bid-ness:

Message Board

A few ground rules:

1. No porn/awful photos of dead people/creepy personal attacks on others. We figure that isn't necessary, but just in case .... you don't have to be adults just use some common sense. Please.

2. There's a mild safeguard on the PICKS board, but we'd still like to plea with you to keep that section "professional."

3. Don't think we're fun killers, though: feel free to have fun in the General and "Snark" sections. Fun does not equal [insert stuff that falls into #1], though, amigos.

ANYWAY, we're still hashing out some more details but if you're drafting, sign up. If you'd like to observe, the enjoy!

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 6-10!

Earlier today, the first 5 spots in the redrafting the league project were revealed. Given that the first two picks went to Western Canadian teams, this draft is definitely not "fixed", like the 2005 entry draft was. Right, Pittsburgh? Anyways, those first 5 picks look like this:

#1) Calgary Flames (Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/Matchsticks & Gasoline)
#2) Vancouver Canucks (Vancity Canuck)
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning (Cassie and/or Raw Charge)
#4) Dallas Stars (Defending Big D)
#5) Chicago Blackhawks (All Hawks - Clare)

I wonder if the fantasy Chicago Blackhawks are going to mismanage their cap into the ground as well? Here's hoping, since I'll be fighting them for a divisional crown.

Now, to reveal the next 5 picks...

#6) New York Islanders
#7) Philadelphia Flyers (Paul Hinrichsen)
#8) Edmonton Oilers (Strange Deadfellows)
#9) Nashville Predators (Section 303)
#10) Atlanta Thrashers (Blueland Chronicle)

Of those top 10 picks, only 1, the #6 seeded New York Islanders are in need of a General Manager. Someone get on it! And be sure to check back tomorrow morning for picks 11-15!

A proposal for the Re-drafting the League draft order

Something I just thought of, that I remember was brought up in my fantasy football league once upon a time...

For the draft order, I think we've all agreed on doing a serpentine draft. Basically, 1-30 will pick, then 30-1, then repeat. The thing that is occasionally disputed on this is that realistically, the very top tier of talented players in the NHL does not fill up that first round, so people picking in the very first picks will get far better players out of the deal than someone picking at the end of the round. After that first tier or so, the differences in players start getting a lot smaller, so the difference between pick #31 and pick #60 (who also picked #1) is going to be much smaller than the difference between picks #1 and pick #30. In the end, basically the first few picks get a bit of an advantage based on their draft position, especially in such a big draft.

The idea that I've heard is to snake it, but alternate the snake every two rounds. So basically, we would have #1-#30, then #30 (pick 31) through #1 (pick 60). Now that we've completed two rounds, we flip it, so now we go #30 (pick 61) through #1 (pick 90), and then #1 (pick 91) through #30 (pick 120).

I think that option is a little more fair to the teams at the extremes of the draft order. Basically, it looks like this:

1st round: #1 -> #30
2nd round: #30 -> #1
3rd round: #30 -> #1
4th round: #1-> #30

Speak up in the comments and let us know what you think!

Re-drafting the League: Revealing picks 1-5!

Yes, thats right folks. James has emailed me the entire draft order. If you want to see your spot, leave $100 in small bills underneath the tree behind your house....

(In a nasal kind of Bettman voice)

AND THE FIRST PICK OF THE NHL FANTASY DRAFT GOES TO...

Lottery%20balls.JPG (333×360)

THE CALGARY FLAMES!!!!

Following the pack from there, we have the following:

#1) Calgary Flames
#2) Vancouver Canucks
#3) Tampa Bay Lightning
#4) Dallas Stars
#5) Chicago Blackhawks

Of course, there are 25 other teams who are waiting to see where they fall in the draft! Check back in at 8:00 PM (I have no idea what timezone I just set it to, just that its 8:00 PM) for the revealing of picks 6-10! That is, if blogger posts this thing as scheduled.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Re-Drafting the League: Vote or Die be annoyed

East Coast blog- ahhhs ya feel me?*

In a week or two we're going to have something approaching a true summer schedule, but it seems obvious that the League Re-Draft idea has enough momentum to dominate most of the CLS happenings right now.

(That being said, expect an Earliest Hockey Memories post on Wednesday, an NHL 10 Wish List post on Thursday and another entertainment related post on Sunday among random bits.)

ANYWAY, since this idea is more than just our baby, we thought we'd pick the collective brains of voters and readers alike. Since we have become weary of Internet based voting since Rory Fitzpatrick got boned by the NHL and Mike Komisarek was a starter in the All-Star game, cast your "votes" in the comments.

Keep in mind that CLS elections could, in fact, be rigged. Nonetheless, share your thoughts. Perhaps they will even be considered (evil Newman-style cackles).

Proposition #1: Salary Cap

Since we are known for being Salary Cap Dorks, it is our strong preference to have a ceiling for how much imaginary spending will be allowed. However, we are lenient tyrants and will bump the cap ceiling up to $57 million. (OK, it's more about our hatred for decimals but don't complain)

One thing, though: don't worry about your team's budget. We don't need TOO much reality within our fantasy draft.

Proposition #2: Measurement of Judgment

Right now, we're thinking that teams could be assessed via a few methods:

1. Performance in a single simulated season of NHL 2010 (and maybe NHL 2K10 if 2K sports sends us a T-shirt HINT!).

Grease the wheels, 2K Sports, grease the effin' wheels.

2. Pure, simple numbers like points/assists/goals/plus-minus/Russian supermodels shagged.

3. Super in-depth formulas from some of our favorite hockey stat heads, if we can stop giving them Indian burns and pink bellies.

4. We could also do it like College Football does it: have head coaches (aka our armchair GMs) get their interns to rank opposing teams. Obviously, you wouldn't be able to rank your own. Just think of all the bribery (none) and corruption (lots) that will ensue! Eureka!

5. Teams could be judged/lampooned/showered with praise by a nebulous panel of sexperts.

Why don't you assign my KNUCKLES a Corsi rating?

Proposition #3: Method of Drafting

This one's going to be decided largely "behind the scenes" but why not give you all a chance to express your opinion? Here's a few methods we're pondering with a quick pro/con:

1. Live draft:

Pros: Quick, most like a "real life" draft

Cons: Coordinating 30 schedules = agony, some people might not get to make their picks

2. E-mail:

Pros: Everyone gets to pick, no immediate reactions of laughter and mockery for picking Peter Forsberg in the 5th round

Cons: Could take FOREVER, no immediate reactions of laughter and mockery for picking Peter Forsberg in the 5th round

3. Message Board/Scheduled picks

This would be sort of a hybrid of the two ideas. Have a scheduled time when someone makes the pick, but be a little more flexible with WHEN they can make it.

Pros: Everyone gets to pick

Cons: Unless they miss the deadline

Pros: In which case they will receive Dan Cloutier or Roman Cechmanek. Mouhahahaha.

4. WILDCARD!

Anything we haven't thought of yet? Do tell!

***

So, what do you think, folks? Express yourself in the comments.

*
Sorry, we're painfully white.

Really, really late to the party

Sonic Youth was on "The Simpsons" ... seriously, what took me so long?

Every week until pre-season coverage kicks into gear, I'll take a random look at the world of entertainment. Once in a while, that piece of pop culture will be relevant. Other times it will be deeply personal and potentially isolating. Either way, I hope that you are able to stumble on some new things or at least enjoy our thoughts. This week's "Sundaytainment" takes a look at two albums I lagged behind the rest of the world in appreciating.

"Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine (1991)
"Daydream Nation" by Sonic Youth (1988)

For the love of Christ, "Daydream Nation" came out MORE THAN 20 YEARS AGO. That's just embarrassing.

Apparently, these two albums are classics. Hugely influential pieces of work that have changed the lives of thousands of music obsessives. "Loveless" was such a masterpiece that My Bloody Valentine's neurotic ringleader went into Axl Rose-ian seclusion while he was trying to compile a followup album. Yet, these two albums were a complete mystery to me just a couple months ago.

Perhaps a semi-mulligan can be applied to My Bloody Valentine. The group is still something of a "cult" favorite and their band name receives two strikes from a) sharing the title of a shitty horror movie and b) resembling the band name of a group I truly cannot stand (My Chemical Romance).

My Bloody Valentine

The same can't be said for Sonic Youth. The band has a great name. They're noisy and have indie credibility. Hell, going back to seventh grade I remember discussing them with an older blonde girl and they still didn't even generate a SPARK of interest. (My favorite bands in those days were Soundgarden, Beck, Sublime and semi-regrettably, Aerosmith).

Despite all the love out there for these two groups and their hallmark albums, I had never heard more than a note from either of them. After one night of scouring Pitchfork Media, there was an endless list of music to try and even with some really great modern stuff, two albums released when hockey wasn't even on my radar were the ones that ended up striking a chord.

The crazy thing is that both sound "fresh" despite their release dates. With "Loveless" the brilliance hits you just about the second the album starts: "Only Shallow" is a noisy, beautiful song that will help you decide quite rapidly if My Bloody Valentine is right for you.


Perhaps my musical palette lacks sophistication, but despite exposure to all kinds of different sounds I'd never heard anything quite like MBV. It's odd: the lyrics are genuinely incomprehensible, yet the sounds are often in my head in an endless loop.

With Sonic Youth, the allure is a little bit different. While "Loveless" roars out the gate like Alex Ovechkin in the open ice, "Teenage Riot" starts things off much slower. (Please be patient with the video, which must have been put together by the same person who edited early-90s episodes of "The Real World")

There's a great mixture of noise and elegance in both of these bands. Perhaps it's my inner ADD-addled child, but music needs to be ever-changing to keep my attention and both bands tend to accomplish that quite nicely.

Naturally, there are many music experts and passionate fans who expelled much ink and column inches expressing what makes these two bands (and albums) so great. There isn't anything my simpleton stance can express that they haven't.

(It is odd, though, that I fell in love with these albums right as these two groups came through Dallas ... in MBV's case during their first tour in ages.)

Ultimately, it's kind of like how NBC tried to pitch re-runs as "new to you": sometimes an album can feel as fresh in 2009 as it did in 1988 (or 91). "Loveless" and "Daydream Nation" do just that.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

League Re-Draft Representatives Thread

It seems like the Fantasy Draft idea has some traction. Here's a list of the people who have signed up so far (eventually we'll have links for their blogs but for now let's just be lazy). If you feel like we've forgotten you, let us know in the comments. Also, if you have any feedback there's a running thread here.

Anaheim - Crash the Crease

Atlanta - Blueland Chronicle

Boston - Hockey Blog Adventure

Buffalo - Vance (right?)

Calgary - Kent from Five Hole Fanatics/ Matchsticks & Gasoline

Carolina - Life and Times of a Caniac

Chicago - All Hawks (Clare)

Colorado - Jibblescribbits

Columbus - Brennan

Dallas - Defending Big D

Detroit - Joe (right?)

Edmonton - Strange Deadfellows

Florida - Litter Box Cats

Los Angeles - Rudy Kelly

Minnesota - Chris Kontos

Montreal - JC

Nashville - Section 303

New Jersey Devils - In Lou We Trust

New York Rangers - Scotty Hockey

Phoenix - Five for Howling

Philadelphia - Paul Hinrichsen

Pittsburgh - Pensburgh

San Jose - Fear the Fin's Mr. Plank

St. Louis - Laura from Wazzupwitchu/St. Louis Game time

Tampa Bay - Cassie and/or Raw Charge

Toronto - eyebleaf/Sports and the City

Vancouver - Vancity Canuck

Washington - Storming the Crease

Did we leave anyone out?

Friday, July 17, 2009

Re-Drafting the League

Toward the end of yesterday's NHL 10 post, we posed the question: if you could choose one player to build a team around, who would it be?

At some point in the wonderful Twitter process, the idea began to grow larger: how cool would it be if we did a "Fantasy Draft" with bloggers posing as team GMs (or ... something to that effect)? While the discussion seemed pretty enthusiastic, the exact details are still a little hazy. We're not sure if it would be better to do it through e-mail, some sort of live draft or what.

Some people have already shown some interest, but we thought we'd throw it out there before sending out spam e-mails and what not. Would this be something you'd find interesting? Perhaps you'd like to get involved? Feel free to use the comments as a forum for brainstorming and send us e-mails (jamestobrien@hotmail.com) if you'd like to be involved.

Is this something you'd find entertaining?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

NHL 10 Wish List: Fantasy Draft

As the anticipation for NHL 10 mounts, we will put up a weekly post related to the buzz. Perhaps one week we'll take a look at what the 2K series could do to gain some ground against EA, but for the most part we'll list an item on our "Wish List." This could either be an additional feature or a glitch we hope is burned in the flames of polygonal hell. Feel free to share your personal Wish Lists, too.

To start things off, we'd happily like to share the fact that NHL '10 will feature something we've been clamoring for since the series moved to next-gen consoles: a "Fantasy Draft." (H/T to Fear the Fin for RT-ing that.)

For those of you unaware of what a Fantasy Draft is, we'll first say that it is as nerdy as it sounds. It's also kind of cool, if you're dorky enough to imagine it happening in the actual NHL.

Basically, though, the Fantasy Draft allows users to put EVERY NHL player in one big draft. The fun comes in many forms: who do you pick first? Do you go with Ovechkin, Crosby or Malkin? Perhaps you appeal to your inner Lemaire and draft a defenseman. Then again, sometimes a great goalie can really tip the digi-scales.

If the NHL decided to re-draft its league, would one of these guys be your #1 pick?

Either way, these are pretty fun little activities to do with friends. No longer can your buddy complain that his team sucks since, after all, he's the one who picked the players. There's also a "lottery" aspect to it: if I choose player A will player B still be around later?

Anyway, it's pretty fun and could be excessive/a real blast if they are available in online leagues. Could you imagine screaming at people to hurry up and make their 15th-round pick already? Gold!

Since this first addition of the Wish List feature lacks suspense, check out Gross Misconduct for a fun little post where he took screen shots of newly minted free agents playing on their new teams. (It's kind of weird seeing Gionta in Montreal)

Not to "bury the lead" here, but if you were starting a team and the league did a real-life Fantasy Draft, who would you pick? Ah, the potential Crosby bashing that will ensue ...

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Wrap Around Curl shares her Earliest Hockey Memories

Logo by Gray from Couch Tarts

By some fortuitous bit of dumb luck, we've managed to swindle some of our favorite hockey bloggers to write guest posts for CLS. Still, it never gets old when we get to bring in someone for the first time.

Such is the case with our prolific pal Wrap Around Curl. Her hilarious, occasionally "Man Candy"-oriented work would be impressive enough if you simply followed her self-titled blog. Yet WAC spreads her seeds of sass all over the blogosphere, most notably as a correspondent for CLS favorites Puck the Media and Pension Plan Puppets. WAC makes Lance Armstrong look like some random slacker from Austin, TX, doesn't she?

Anyway, we're glad to welcome WAC to the world of CLS guest posters. Make sure to follow her work.

***

For me, well I've been going to hockey games since I was in utero. My mom went to Chiefs games all the time. Well, they were the Flyers then. And it was more of the Slapshot era of hockey, the rivalries brutal and fights broke out in the stands. The Flyers played in the Spokane Coliseum which was affectionately called the Boone Street Barn and the team often, The Boone Street Barn Burners. Cowbells were common cheering props.

But she went to hockey games all the time and still went when she was pregnant with me. And even after I was born she still took me. The season ticket holders she sat by had made me a baby blanket and other stuff. (I have the blanket somewhere in storage.) I didn't get to go to too many Chiefs game when I was younger. But I do remember being about 7 and sitting front row and screaming and pounding on the glass. I loved it. I wanted to play hockey as a kiddo but my mom couldn't afford it, and I got mad when I found out that they don't let girls fight. I can't even ice skate but I'd certainly allow a strapping young defenceman, say Luke Schenn, teach me how to skate.

I started going to more and more games in high school with a few friends. And when I was a freshmen in college I used my financial aid money for season tickets. And the last person I dated started going to hockey because I went all the time. We eventually split and I lost the season ticket seats in the breakup. Terrible, truly. He decided to take random chicks to hockey (one of them does crosswords during games) and I still went to games, proudly and on my own. I have my season ticket a few rows behind the visitors bench now. And I haven't missed a Chiefs game in about three seasons (I left a wedding reception early once for a game, its ok the cake was already cut). I treasure my player magnet collection and hate Cheerstick and Buck Night so hard. I tolerate Chuck a Puck.

People seem to find my love and adoration of my junior hockey team amusing. Well, given my location that's all I have for hockey. But really it's the best. The young talent, it's wonderful. And the Chiefs alumni list is pretty amazing (here's the alumi list) These kids are amazing. They play hockey because they love it and not for the paycheck.

Last years team that ended up winning the Memorial Cup was astounding. Dustin Tokarski - I am convinced will be quite the goalie in the NHL, if only he would stop getting overlooked because he might be a tad short for a modern goalie. He's 5'10 to 5'11 depending on which stats you are reading. Drayson Bowman is just waiting to rule the Carolina Hurricanes. Ondrej Roman is going to be a tremendous goal scorer if he can get out of the Czech Republic. I keep dreaming that former captain Chris Bruton (he errrr was the one who dropped the Memorial Cup...) will return to the Chiefs as a coach. But because of the void I live in, people loving other NHL teams doesn't seem so strange. There are people here who love the Red Wings (Mike Babcock used to coach the Chiefs), the Wild, the Canucks. Even the Predators and Lightning. If I wear my Nordiques jersey to a game, people smile.

It's the homegrown fanbase and traditions that make it. There's the special way we celebrate goals. And the Teddy Bear Toss. My friends and I make shirts for players and they are so flattered. They are some really great kids. And I am happy to pay 13 bucks a game to see them play. It's rough following junior hockey because well, they can get injured. Then there are those who age out or have to be traded because of the overager rule. I've cried many times over players moving on. But I come back every season, ready to embrace the new players and to buy new player buttons. This season I will go through the hard process of deciding on a new "hockey boyfriend" since Tokarski is done as a Chief, after setting many new records. I'll treasure my Chiefs sweater the boys signed. My friends and I have rituals for games, reading the program in a specific order. After most games we go to the same places for food and often a Chief or two will be there with his family and we'll send him a basket of deep fried Oreos. We have to take care of our boys.

I even made the long journey to Montreal to see who was going to draft Jared Cowen. Sitting there with the Leafs crew, I sobbed my eyes out when the Senators picked him. Everyone was nice and comforted me and told me it was going to be ok, even though I have to hate him now. I'm happy he is going to an organization that will love him but I wanted him in the blue and white. I hope that Jared will have another season or two with the Chiefs before leaving me for Ottawa. Am I a member of the Leafer Nation? Of course. But my truest team is the Chiefs.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Meet the Artist

Starting tomorrow, CLS will begin a series that features the earliest/fondest/original hockey memories from some of our favorite hockey bloggers. Expect these great stories each Wednesday, ideally through the regular season.

Like we did with Earl Sleek for our Hockey Orphan feature, we decided to ask one of our favorite hockey artists to create the logo. We've had Gray and the Couch Tarts gang contribute quite a few posts already, but if you aren't familiar make sure to check out their great San Jose Sharks blog.

Gray's artwork caught our eyes from the beginning, but particularly during the playoffs.

After seeing great logos for each playoff series we must admit that we became smitten. We're not art majors by any stretch, but we smile every time we see these adorable, expressive pieces of art.

Make sure to check out Gray's Web site, where you can place custom orders or purchase one of her striking pieces.


We cannot thank Gray, the Couch Tarts and our contributors enough. Thanks everyone!

Coming Wednesday: The great Wrap Around Curl shares her memories.

We feel kinda bad now: Chicago fires Tallon

Mirtle used this photo first, but we had to use it because of the obvious foreshadowing.

So far, we've seen posts from Second City Hockey, St. Louis Game Time, Puck Daddy and James Mirtle regarding the firing of Dale Tallon. After waking up from a profoundly bizarre nightmare, let's leave it at that right now. Perhaps we'll update this with a more extensive round-up/link dump if the hockey blogosphere justifies it.

Obviously, the excuse for firing him was the QO debacle (perhaps we should call it FedEx-gate?), but next season is one of the most pivotal in Blackhawks' history and the decisions they make will have an impact on the next decade. They might as well go with the guy(s) many assumed were inevitably going to be in charge anyway.

It will be an interesting story to follow and no doubt about it: the Blackhawks are, at the moment, the story of this summer.

For the hell of it, here are our posts regarding Chicago's salary cap situation:

Losing Kane, Keith or Toews: a crushing inevitability.
Bashing the Hossa signing.
The Blackhawks' salary cap situation looked worrisome as early as mid-March

Monday, July 13, 2009

What if the NHL instituted a luxury tax?

Stern: "Bettman's on the phone again? Aw, not again ... "

So, we are 99.99 percent sure that the CBA prohibits the institution of a luxury tax, but let's just dream for a minute that Gary Bettman could justify his massive salary by stumbling upon a magic loophole.

Seeing that marquee franchises in Chicago, Pittsburgh, New York, Detroit and even San Jose will feel a considerable pinch going into the 2010-11, the league declares a "state of emergency" for the cap with the solution of instituting a luxury tax so that teams could exceed the ceiling. (At a huge price, of course).

Now, instead of wondering who the Hawks would have to move to accomodate the re-signing of Kane, Toews and Keith, the hockey world would ask: are the Blackhawks willing to fork over the dough to make it happen? It would be a godsend for hockey bloggers/pundits/message board trolls and a great way to allow money making franchises to keep their rosters together.

The best part, though, is how the league could potentially use the extra cash to benefit everyone. Let's daydream for a moment:
  • The league creates a "luxury tax" pool each season. They pledge to use every dime to purchase high-end advertising spots during events such as the Super Bowl and American Idol. Also, more money could be spent to publicize the Stanley Cup Finals and Winter Classic.

  • Maybe the league could pump that money into moving the "NHL on the Fly" broadcasts from what seems to be a broom closet to ... what's that called again? Oh, right, a studio. It would also be nice if the NHL Network stopped playing the same Capitals-Rangers game on an endless loop, now that you mention it.
  • Since Bettman clearly will not take any egg on his face/acknowledge economic realities regarding the Phoenix Coyotes scenario, the league could use luxury tax money to take care of the 'Yotes debts and pay Wayne Gretzky buckets of money to exist/coach a team that has never made the playoffs under his tutleage.
  • Perhaps they could lend Versus a little money to get Brian Engblom a haircut* and produce a freakin' highlight show already.

  • Put the luxury tax money to good use by helping families who cannot afford hockey equipment. Or better yet, donate it to charity or to retired players' pension funds.
  • Use the money to revamp the city of Edmonton, so Dany Heatley can continue his pampered existence without any fear of bad weather, the ghosts of his past or backchecking.
  • Bribe Pierre McGuire to just go away. Please.
What would YOU want the league to do with extra cash if they could receive luxury tax money?

* - I think he actually DID get a slightly better hair cut this year, but are you going to complain about seeing this photo?

Sunday, July 12, 2009

"Bruno" sticks it to/in the man

With the Dog Days of Hockey Summer (aka the news-less abyss) rapidly approaching, we decided that Sunday will be a day of non-hockey talk at CLS. So every week until things start picking up, we'll discuss a movie/TV show/bit of pop culture that is either especially relevant or culturally necessary. Hopefully you'll enjoy these and maybe find new things to watch and enjoy.


Let's face it: America really isn't a place where rebellion is in the air anymore.

Honestly, the only hints of revolution come in the forms of Internet technology - but we all know the WWW mainly exists for porn and pirating software. A lot of cranky, bi-focaled people will point to some kind of generational drop-off in human quality, but they are as wrong as the parents who tired to obstruct Elvis were wrong.

We aren't "The Greatest Generation" because a lot of the BIG wars already were waged. Racism may always exist, but at least we can all share the same disease-infested water fountains. Unpopular wars keep happening, but lazy college-aged kids don't have to worry about being drafted. Aside from electronic music and heavy sampling, it seems like complaining about the lack of originality in music is both accurate and unfair: can you imagine what the "next big thing" could even sound like?

If you want to look at how rebel-less our peers are, just look at the so-formulaic-it-could-be-synthesized-into-a-paste nature of what is supposed to pass as "punk rock" today.

Seriously?

Indeed, the obvious battles were fought by previous generations (not to say that all of them were definitively "won" or "lost"). Instead, our greatest war is a social war. When historians and sociologists look back at the '00 era, they will look at gay rights with the same stunned shame that we now look at segregation.

The inherent ignorance of gay bashing and homophobia is, in other words, the Elephant in the Room of our time.

We cannot say that these were the first thoughts that came to mind when we witnessed the hysterical/shocking onslaught of male genitalia that is "Bruno." Perhaps shocking might not be the best choice of words: "Borat" set the obvious template for Sacha Baron Cohen's ballsy, confrontational, Tom-Green-plus-brains shtick. In many ways, Bruno was only different from Borat in a way that changing nouns, verbs and adjectives can alter the way a person experiences Mad Libs.



Yet Bruno becomes an interesting social experiment when it is experienced in a packed house, especially in the more "conservative" venues in America. Some of the film's most haunting/memorable/laugh-inducing moments come when Cohen bamboozles a meat head-laden crowd into witnessing graphic homosexual content under the guise of a mixed martial arts event*.

* - It's probably a coincidence, but hats off to premiering the film during the same weekend as UFC 100.

We can assume that there will be many outraged audience members across America (not surprisingly, we saw quite a few people leave the movie). Sad to say, there are many people who would wear a "My asshole is only for shitting" T-shirt without even the slightest hint of irony. All one needs to understand this issue is to watch the senseless barrage of beer, debris and even chairs that cascade upon Cohen and his submissive assistant once the crowd of dentally challenged people realize they had been duped.

That - and not side splitting hilarity - is the reason that Bruno might be a vaguely important film.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Pro-cap-stination Continued: Montreal to Washington

For a typically excessive explanation of this series and the first half of NHL teams, click here.

Basically, this post should serve as a guide for those Armchair GMs who want to daydream about their team capitalizing on the shortsighted team management of opposing builders. Each entry includes the team's CURRENT cap commitments, the number of players listed/being considered on the pro roster, some of the bigger names/bigger cap hits under contract, a list of the crucial UFA/RFAs to re-sign and finally an educated guess regarding whether or not the team will be a buyer in July 2010.

Naturally, this is for nerdy fun and speculation. As we saw from Philadelphia and Chicago, a lot can change in a week ... let alone a year. That being said, this might give you an idea of where your team may stand during SALARY CAP JUDGMENT DAY.

Montreal Canadiens
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: just under $42.5 million
Players under contract: 5 forwards, 6 D and no goalies
Noteworthy players: Gomez, Cammalleri, Gionta, Markov, Hamrlik, Spacek
Most important RFA/UFAs: Price,
Buyer potential: Mild buyer, depending on the cost of Price

Nashville Predators
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $32 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 3 D and no goalies
Noteworthy players: Arnott, Erat, Dumont, Legwand, Sullivan, Weber, Suter
Most important RFA/UFAs: Rinne
Buyer potential: Strong, budget permitting

New Jersey Devils
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $38 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 4 D and 1 goalie
Noteworthy players: Elias, Parise, Rolston, Brodeur, Oduya
Most important RFA/UFAs: Martin, Zajac (2009)
Buyer potential: Strong

New York Islanders
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $28-30 million (Throwing in a flippant Tavares cap hit estimate)
Players under contract: 5 forwards, 4 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Tavares, Ricky D, Rolo, Streit, Witt (teehee), Alexei Yashin's enormous buyout
Most important RFA/UFAs: Okposo
Buyer potential: Strong

New York Rangers
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $44.5 million
Players under contract: 9 forwards, 3 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Gaborik, Drury, Kotalik, Redden, Rosival, Lundqvist
Most important RFA/UFAs: Dubinsky (2009)
Buyer potential: Sellers, unless someone takes Drury/Redden/Rosival

Ottawa Senators
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment:
about $46.5 million WITH HEATLEY
Players under contract: 9 forwards, 2 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Heatley, Spezza, Kovalev, Fisher, Alf, Kuba, Phillips, Leclaire, JAMES O'BRIEN (the one with talent)
Most important RFA/UFAs: Volchenkov, Foligno
Buyer potential: HEATLEY HEATLEY HEATLEY

"I'm so rone-ry ..."

Philadelphia Flyers
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $45.7 million
Players under contract: 9 forwards, 3 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Richards, Briere, Gagne, Carter, Hartnell, Timonen, Pronger, Carle
Most important RFA/UFAs: Emery(?), Coburn, Parent
Buyer potential: Treading water/Sellers

Phoenix Coyotes
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $30.6 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 4 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Doan, Turris, Breezy
Most important RFA/UFAs: Supporting players
Buyer potential: Depends on their budget/owner/locale

Pittsburgh Penguins
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $41 million
Players under contract: 10 forwards, 2 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Crosby, Malkin, Staal, Kunitz, Orpik, Fleury
Most important RFA/UFAs: Gonchar, Letang
Buyer potential: Treading water

San Jose Sharks
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $35 million
Players under contract: 4 forwards, 5 D and 0 goalies
Noteworthy players: Thornton, Michalek, Clowe, Cheech, Boyle, Vlasic, Ehrhoff
Most important RFA/UFAs: Marleau, Nabokov, Pavelski, Setoguchi,
Buyer potential: BIG Sellers?

St. Louis Blues
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $28 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 3 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: McDonald, Boyes, Brewer, Jackman
Most important RFA/UFAs: Johnson, Kariya, Perron, Mason
Buyer potential: Buyers

Tampa Bay Lightning
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: Somewhere between $36-40 million depending upon how Stamkos/Hedman count on the cap
Players under contract: 6 forwards, 4 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Lecavalier, St. Louis, Malone, Hedman, Stamkos, Meszaros, Ohlund
Most important RFA/UFAs: meh
Buyer potential: Who knows?

Toronto Maple Leafs
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: About $31 million
Players under contract: 4 forwards, 5 D and 0 goalies
Noteworthy players: Blake, Hagman, Komisarek, Kaberle, Frenchie, Finger, Schenn
Most important RFA/UFAs: Toskala and the MONSTERRRAAWWRRR
Buyer potential: Buyers

Vancouver Canucks
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: About $31 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 4 D and 0 goalies
Noteworthy players: Weird looking ginger twins, three average D making $3 million, Burrows
Most important RFA/UFAs: ROBERTO LUONGO, Kesler
Buyer potential: Mild buyers?

Washington Capitals
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: About $36 million
Players under contract: 6 forwards, 5 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: OV, Green, Nylander's unpopular contract, Poti, Varlamov
Most important RFA/UFAs: Semin, Backstrom
Buyer potential: Mild buyers, depending on RFAs

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The beauty of pro-cap-stination (Anaheim to Minnesota)


To make this more manageable, we decided to break this post up into two posts. Today, we'll cover the first half of the NH-aLphabet with Anaheim through Minnesota. Tomorrow, we'll put up the rest. Eventually, we'll probably merge the two for one mega post/reference point. Maybe.

We've hit the Chicago Blackhawks pretty hard lately, but don't get us wrong: there are plenty of teams that will be sweating bullets come July 2010. In fact, there probably aren't many quality teams who won't feel the pinch if the cap plummets to $50 million as some have said.

Still, like an advantageous liquidator or a savvy pawn shop owner, one GM's emotionally crippling loss could be another GM's team-building gain.

Naturally, no GM worth his fancy necktie would admit to waiting 'til next year to scavenge the rotting carcasses of poorly structured teams. Yet, that's the tantalizing potential scenario:

"Oh, so you want to get rid of an overpriced player? Sounds good. To whom should I address this seventh-road draft pick and deluxe set of luggage?"

The smart teams are doing one of three things:

1. Stockpiling good value contracts for younger players and 1-year deals for veterans (best example: Anaheim).

2. Despite being close to the cap ceiling, there are obvious "tiers" for the team and they are only giving their core guys big contracts (Pittsburgh and Detroit are doing a solid job of this, even if it forces some tough departures).

3. Licking their chops by amassing a ton of cap space and adding high-value, entry-level contracts through the draft (the New York Islanders might be the champions of this strategy if they're smart).

OK, now that we've introduced the concept and discussed the generalities, let's take a brief snapshot of each team's 2010-2011 cap commitments to see if we can target some potential "buyers." Naturally, a lot can change in a mere week let alone twelve months.

(Cap commitments came mostly from NHLSCAP.com, with CapGeek.com serving as the occasional pinch hitter. Both are great resources for cap info.)

Anaheim
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment:
just under $29 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 2 D and one goalie
Noteworthy players: Getzlaf, Perry, Giguere (probable trade), Whitney, Lupul
Most important RFA/UFAs: Ryan, Hiller
Buyer potential: Strong, budget permitting

Atlanta
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment:
just under $20 million
Players under contract: 3 forwards, 4 D, no goalies (Kari Lehtonen still needs to be re-signed)
Noteworthy players: Antropov, White, Enstrom, Hainsey, Bogosian
Most important RFA/UFAs: Lehtonen, ILYA KOVALCHUK, Kubina
Buyer potential: Strong, budget permitting

Boston
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment:
about $35 million
Players under contract: 5 forwards, 2 D and one goalie
Noteworthy players: Bergeron, Ryder, Krejci, Chara, Thomas, Wideman
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Kessel still not signed, MARC SAVARD, Lucic
Buyer potential: Seller

Buffalo
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $38 million
Players under contract: 6 forwards, 2 D and one goalie
Noteworthy players: Vanek, Pominville, Connolly, Roy, Miller, Rivet
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Support players
Buyer potential: Treading water or Seller

Calgary
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $42.8 million
Players under contract: 5 forwards, 5 D and two goalies
Noteworthy players: Iginla, Bouwmeester, Kipper, Phaneuf, Regehr, Langkow, Sarich
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Jokinen
Buyer potential: Treading water or Seller

Carolina
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $30 million
Players under contract: 8 forwards, 2 D and 0 goalies
Noteworthy players: Staal, Cole, Rod the Bod, Pitkanen,
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Ward, Whitney
Buyer potential: Mild Buyer or Treading water

Chicago
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $43 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 4 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Hossa, Campbell, Huet, Versteeg, Barker, Seabrook, Byfuglien, Sharp, Bolland, Sopel
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Kane, Toews, Keith
Buyer potential: Seller

Colorado
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $25 million
Players under contract: 4 forwards, 2 D and 1 goalie
Noteworthy players: Stastny, Smyth, Hannan, Lilies
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Hejduk
Buyer potential: Buyer

Columbus
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $34 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 3 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Nash, Mason, Umberger, Huselius, Commodore,
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Meh
Buyer potential: Buyer

Dallas
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $25 million
Players under contract: 4 forwards, 4 D and 0 goalies
Noteworthy players: Morrow, Richards, Ribeiro, Daley
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Turco, Eriksson, Ott, Neal
Buyer potential: Their owner might be having cash flow issues

Detroit
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $41.5 million
Players under contract: 8 forwards, 4 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Hank, Datsyuk, Franzen, Rafalski, blah blah they're still loaded
Most Important RFA/UFAs: LIDSTROM
Buyer potential: Treading water/mild BUYERS???

Edmonton
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $43 million
Players under contract: 7 forwards, 4 D and 1 goalie
Noteworthy players: Horcoff, Penner, Bulin Wall, Hemsky, Lubo, Souray, Gilbert
Most Important RFA/UFAs: The dudes Edmonton tried to trade for Dany Heatley, other supporting cast members
Buyer potential: Treading water/mild Sellers(?)

Florida
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $45 million
Players under contract: 9 forwards, 4 D and 2 goalies
Noteworthy players: Booth, Horton, McCabe, Vokoun, Ballard, Weiss
Most Important RFA/UFAs: not really
Buyer potential: Treading water

Los Angeles (this one might need some double-checking, admittedly)
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $41 million
Players under contract: 9 forwards, 4 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Brown, Kopitar, Smyth, Handzus, Doughty, Scuderi
Most Important RFA/UFAs: Frolov,
Buyer potential: Buyer

Minnesota
Current 10-11 Cap Commitment: about $32 million
Players under contract: 6 forwards, 2 D and 1 goalies
Noteworthy players: Havlat, PMB, Koivu, Burns, Schultz, Backstrom
Most Important RFA/UFAs: CLUTTERBUCK, Zidlicky
Buyer potential: Mild Buyer

(The rest on Friday!)

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The Joe Sakic Collection

Aside from maybe some Red Wings fans here and there, it's probably safe to say that the hockey world was universally bummed out to hear that Joe Sakic announced his retirement from the NHL.

There are some fragmented sub-stories here.

We've always sort of wondered where hockey fans stand on the "who would you choose" debate (that only exists in our heads) between Peter Forsberg (the dynamic, fragile bruiser) and Joe Sakic (a player who - until his last two seasons - was unique both for his talents and his reliability).

With the trade of Ryan Smyth, the drafting of Matt Duchene and Sakic's retirement, the Avs seem like they're finally beginning an overdue rebuilding process.

But those are stories for another day. Although we greatly admired Sakic, it makes sense to leave his career obituary to the experts. But we will say this: even hampered with injuries, Sakic still was a considerably productive player. It wasn't long ago that he produced his last 100-point season. Perhaps it was best that Sakic decided to leave with his head held high. At the same time, few would have begrudged him if he decided on a swan song season.

Anyway, that's all WE have to say about Sakic but let's take a look around the blogosphere to see reflections on the man with one of the most lethal wrist shots in NHL history:

  • "I know that this is the right time, that it would be wrong to ask Sakic to endure what would no doubt be a difficult season next year. Yet I still feel like a teenage girl who has broken up with her boyfriend right before the prom; I just want to lock myself in my room tonight with a bowl of ice cream, fighting back the tears as I clutch his picture in my hands."
- David from Mile High Hockey
  • "There are two types of heroes that are typical of stories told in frontier towns. One western hero is the the brash, cocky son-of-a-bitch who takes on the establishment and all that get in his/her way, like Billy the Kid or Molly Brown (the Avs would fill this hero role later with Patrick Roy). Then there's the noble lawman, the Teddy Rooseveltian hero who speaks softly and carries a big stick. No one speaks more softly than Joe Sakic, and no one carried a bigger stick."
- Jibblescribbits
  • And, finally, Bangin Panger provides a little comic relief (hopefully this won't be too big a part of Burnaby Joe's legacy, though):

Send us your weepy/awesome/introspective/favorite Joe Sakic retirement posts!

We're going to be away until the early afternoon today, so please send us your favorite Joe Sakic retirement-related blog posts. In fact, if you have an older but intriguing look at Sakic that would probably work too. Don't feel shy about self promotion.

Feel free to get in touch with us a number of ways:

E-mail: jamestobrien@hotmail.com

In the comments

Or via Twitter: http://twitter.com/cyclelikesedins

Make it happen, kids.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Losing one (or more) of Kane, Toews, Keith: a crushing inevitability for the Blackhawks

Editor's note: This post runs really long and might have some inexact math. The major point, though, is that the Blackhawks have painted themselves into an astonishing corner. It is legitimately difficult to imagine them holding onto two of Kane, Toews and Keith.

If they do keep all three, it will require the Hawks to deal with a stunning lack of depth.

Feel free to prove us wrong and point out mistakes. We expect this post to be a crucial part of how we look at this scenario.

And, obviously, we hope you find it interesting.

***

The Chicago Blackhawks horror show salary cap situation keeps dominating our thoughts as the story of the free agency week. Quite a few share our "WTF are they thinking?" train of thought, but many others have voiced their disagreements with our apparent Chicken Little outlooks.

With all that in mind, we decided to break this situation down in various ways. We think you'll eventually acknowledge the obvious: this is one mind bogglingly screwed up salary cap situation.

First, we'll look at the Chicago Blackhawks cap commitments in 2009-10 and 2010-11. Keep in mind these will be CURRENT, without any TALLON MAGIC. (Sorry, We'll try to limit our sarcasm).

Then we'll list players by their trade-ability. After all, Tallon will have to make moves if he'd like to keep ... you know, the two kids who turned his franchise around.

Finally, we'll look at a few hypothetical situations. Since we're laying out everything but the Blackhawks' prospect contracts, feel free to assemble your own panic soaked Chicago Blackhawks roster!

(We used CapGeek.com for calculations and NHLSCAP.com to double check RFA/UFA statuses)

Chicago Blackhawks 2009-10 Roster/Cap Commitments

Forwards

Marian Hossa: $5,233,333
Patrick Sharp: $3,900,000
Dave Bolland: $3,375,000
Dustin Byfuglien: $3,000,000
John Madden: $2,750,000
Andrew Ladd: $1,550,000
Tomas Kopecky: $1,200,000
Troy Brouwer: $1,025,000
Ben Eager: $965,000
Patrick Kane: $875,000
Jonathan Toews: $850,000
Jack Skille: $850,000
Adam Burish: $712,500
Colin Fraser: $700,000

Defense

Brian Campbell: $7,142,875
Brent Seabrook: $3,500,000
Cam Barker: $3,083,333
Brent Sopel: $2,333,333
Duncan Keith: $1,475,000
Niklas Hjalmarsson: $643,333

Goalies

Cristobal Huet: $5,625,000
Antti Niemi: $892,500

Numbers

ROSTER SIZE: 22
SALARY CAP: $56,800,000
PAYROLL (without bonuses): $52,137,207
CAP ROOM: $4,662,793

Salary Cap Commitments for 2010-11

Forwards

Marian Hossa: $5,233,333
Patrick Sharp: $3,900,000
Dave Bolland: $3,375,000
Dustin Byfuglien: $3,000,000
Tomas Kopecky: $1,200,000

Defense

Brian Campbell: $7,142,875
Brent Seabrook: $3,500,000
Cam Barker: $3,083,333
Brent Sopel: $2,333,333

Goalie

Cristobal Huet: $5,625,000

Numbers

ROSTER SIZE: 10
SALARY CAP: $56,800,000
PAYROLL: $38,848,874
CAP ROOM: $17,951,126

OK, now let's look at the guys Chicago would likely TRY to move (with snarky category titles!)

Highly movable:

Sharp ($3.9 million)
Byfuglien ($3 million)
Seabrook ($3.5 million)

You JUST SIGNED him!

Bolland ($3.375 million)
Barker ($3.08 million)

Gainey-bait:

Huet ($5.625 million)
Sopel ($2.33 million)
Campbell ($7.1 million)

***

OK, so there's hypothetical situation #1: The Blackhawks don't move salary, but manage to sign Kane, Toews and Keith for a dream scenario $13.5 million. Oh, and the Salary Cap doesn't drop at all (snickers).

Forwards: Hossa - Kane - Toews - Fugly - Sharp - Bolland - Kopecky - 5 minimum wage forwards

Defense: Keith - Campbell - Barker - Sopel - Seabrook - minimum wage defenseman

Goalies: Huet - Minimum wage netminder

Numbers:

ROSTER SIZE: 13
SALARY CAP: $56,800,000
PAYROLL: $52,348,874
CAP ROOM: $4,451,126
CAP ROOM PER OPEN SPOT: $445,113

(Note: the Blackhawks would probably still have to find a way to get rid of Sopel to make that work)

Hypothetical situation #2: The Cap drops to $50 million. Kane-Toews-Keith agree to a combined $13.5 million out of the bottoms of their bottomless hearts.

a) They would start over a $50 million cap to begin with, so they banish Brent Sopel to Salary Cap hell. (Again)

b) The NHL's minimum salary will be about $500,000. That number could be very important to Mr. Tallon around July 2010.

c) We would assume the Blackhawks would need to keep/wouldn't be able to trade:

Hossa, Kane, Bolland, Toews, Seabrook, Keith, Barker. For the sake of sanity, they'd probably keep Kopecky to make Hossa happy or some dopey shit.

d) So, if the Blackhawks lived in a dream world in which they could rid themselves of Brian Campbell, Cristobal Huet, Dustin Byfuglien and Patrick Sharp ...

... while signing Kane, Toews AND Keith to trio of bargain contracts ...

They would have five forwards and three defensemen for $30 million. This would give them $20 million to fill (at the minimum) seven forward spots, three defensemen and two goalies. To ice a hockey team, they would have approximately $1.67 million per roster spot.

Without a goalie. Without even two full lines of forwards or defense.

This is if the Blackhawks unload a murderer's row of idiotic contracts.

Even if this situation played out with the current cap, they'd have $2.16 million per open spot.

And this the DREAM scenario.

We don't know what else can convince you. Go play around at CapGeek.com and see if you can find a way to explain how the Blackhawks aren't mortgaging their future. Seriously, we'll gladly eat crow if it means that there is some order restored to the universe.

***

Every team pushing the cap this year will have some serious headaches if the salary cap drops. Especially if it drops by $6 million. The Chicago Blackhawks, however, are mavericks.

They insist on struggling even if the cap DOESN'T drop.

Time for us to get some Advil.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Steals and Gambles: Kovalev, Biron and Malholtra

With the rush of news on free agency slowing down to a steady trickle, there are still quite a few players who are still on the market. Some are guys who were once All-Stars like Sergei Zubov, Alex Kovalev and Alex Tanguay. Whether it is age, character or contract demands, these guys are still available for some reason or another.

We thought it would be fun to classify some of them as steals or gambles. Some are even STEAL-GAMBLES! Exciting, we know.

Here's the first three. More will come later this week, unless everyone gets scooped up.

Alex Kovalev
Classification: High risk, high reward gamble

We don't have a hidden camera in on Kovalev's negotiations, but we wonder if the ultra-talented, eternally "enigmatic" Russian simply wants too much dough. Matt of Battle of Alberta did a great job of shedding some light on Kovie's supposed "struggles" last year (showing that AK 27's 2007-08 was an anomaly more than anything else).

It's hard to say which team would be the best fit for Kovalev. The fan in us shouts Pittsburgh, but he'd absolutely need to take a pay cut. Montreal makes sense, even if the makeup of that team changed drastically. Where else do you think would be a good home for Kovalev?

Interesting scenarios: Pittsburgh (big pay cut), Montreal, Vancouver(?).

Martin Biron
Classification: Possible steal

There isn't much that's sexy about Martin Biron (aside from the fact that he has the eyes of a Husky ... wait, is the mic still on? Uh oh ...), but the guy has experience as a No.1 goaltender. He might actually have been a good fit in Pittsburgh, if it weren't for one fashion choice:

Oops!

Like most of the speculation here, we don't know why he hasn't signed with anyone yet. Is he in 1b/backup denial? Does he want more money?

If he accepts a possible backup or 1b role, he could be a very nice asset at the $1.5 million or so mark.

Interesting scenarios: Los Angeles, Dallas, Philadelphia

Manny Malhotra
Classification: Probable steal

One stat we are excessively enamored with his faceoff ability. Malhotra consistently dominates in the circle, ranking fourth in FO percentage this season. (He was also #2 in 07-08 and #12 in 06-07)

Now, obviously, you're not going to generate gaudy offense when double-M is out on the ice. That being said, according to Mirtle's evaluations, he does seem to make good use of his minutes on the ice.

We really like what we saw from Todd Marchant in last year's playoffs, but it appears that Mal-ULTRA might just be a younger version of the speedy defensive center. He'd be a great addition for a team looking for an above average shutdown center and a force in the circle.

Interesting scenarios: CBJ, New Jersey, any team that needs a shutdown center.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Miracle on the Fourth of July: a quick guide to Team USA-related entertainment

+

If you want to combine your favorite hobby (obsessing over hockey) with a thematic celebration of the Fourth of July, we have a quick guide of some Miracle on Ice-related entertainment. We even developed an ADVANCED* and SOPHISTICATED system to rate their quality.

*Any word in ALL CAPS in this post will be sarcastic.

"Miracle" - the Disney movie starring Kurt Russell as Herb Brooks



For non-hockey fans, "Miracle" is probably a nauseating load of sports movie cliches. For American hockey fans like us, it is one of the best serious hockey movies ever made. Russell did an uncanny job portraying Brooks, even kind of looking like him and wearing those absurd pants.

Review: "If you lose this game don't watch this movie at least once, you'll TAKE IT TO YOUR GRAVE."

"The Boys of Winter" by Wayne Coffey

When people re-tell the story of the Miracle on Ice, they make it seem like the Americans just learned to skate last week. Like a Jamaican bobsled team or something.

The truth is that Herb Brooks collected a bunch of plucky winners from the college hockey ranks to play a system he thought could give the Russians fits. Was it still improbable? Of course! But they were better than you maybe thought.

This book tells their story with great, often hilarious and sometimes tragic, detail.

Review: Nine boisterous Mike Eruzione celebrations out of ten.

The Miracle on Ice Made-for-TV movie (can be streamed on Netflix, if you hate yourself/America/the idea of decent film making.)

Don't bother.

Review: Worse than allowing a last second goal and then benching the best goalie in the world.

Do You Believe in Miracles? The Story of the 1980 U.S. Hockey Team

Just awesome. There really isn't much more you can say about this great HBO documentary. It includes archival footage of the game as well as "nature of the time" clips of people waiting desperately for gas. There are player interviews from both sides and everything you'd expect from a great documentary.

Review: The gold medal of Miracle on Ice culture.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Marian Hossa to Chicago was a great signing ... and Michael Jackson died with his original nose

What a strange week-plus it's been. First, the world mourned a pop star while somehow glossing over his priest-besting "alleged" past of molesting children ... acting as if the man wasn't ignored for a decade and a half of irrelevant music making.

At least that wasn't unprecedented, though, because we were alive at a time when the world somehow felt epic sadness about Anna Nicole Smith too.

Yet, the most shocking moment might have been the eventual approval of Chicago's random, short-sighted signing of Marian Hossa. We love Puck Daddy, but ... come ON!
"Chicago Blackhawks: We've said our piece on the Marian Hossa signing for 12 years and $62.8 million. They get a major pass for it in this report card because any quibbles about the deal are going to come down the line. Right now, from a hockey perspective, it's the move of the Frenzy.

...

Goaltending, future cap considerations and Tallon's propensity to overpay aside, if the test is whether a team is closer to a Stanley Cup after its deadline moves, the answer for the Blackhawks is an unequivocal "yes." Conditions could change next summer; but for now, it's a solid GRADE: A-"

-Puck Daddy's "Free Agent Frenzy Report Card"

Stunning.

"Has the world gone CRAZY? Does no one give a shit about the (salary cap)?"

If you look at the move from a Havlat-for-Hossa point of view then yes, of course, the Blackhawks made a good decision. Yet, even if Havlat might have been their most productive forward this season, is there ANYONE who attributes Chicago's resurgence to the Gaborik-in-Sheep's clothing?

No, really, raise your hand. We want to catalog the crazies in our midst.

It boggles our mind that people can look at the signing WITHOUT acknowledging the fact that the Blackhawks painted themselves into a serious corner with this move. Tallon reminds us of friends who would buy a Wii, PS3 and X-Box 360 on their birthday and then realize they had no money left for games.

Sorry, but the move cannot be examined without looking past the 2009-10 season. By that logic, the Dallas Stars harbor no regrets about trading away Jarome Iginla since they won one Cup with Joe Nieuwendyk.

We asked how in the world the Hawks would keep Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith before they added Marian Hossa and gave Dave Bolland a surprisingly rich deal for a guy with such a light resume. When you factor in Hossa, Bolland and Kopecky's deals, the Hawks will have $10 million less to sign those big three next year. And that's without factoring in the possible signing of Kris Versteeg and/or Cam Barker.

And as Joe at Sacrifice the Body pointed out, having about $20 million for 10 players is tough enough until you realize the VERY real possibility of the cap falling significantly.

In a DREAM scenario, the Hawks would sign Toews and Kane to dual $5 million per year contracts and somehow hypnotize stud defenseman Keith to a $4 million per year deal. They'd then have to find a way to fill out a roster with abysmal half-million dollar players and rookies.

Future collector's item?

The only option we could see is trading to make space, but even THAT will be costly.

Brian Campbell's enormous* Gomez-esque contract makes a trade pretty damn hard to imagine (before Bob Gainey traded for Gomez, we would have called it unthinkable). They're paying contract year wonder Cristobal Huet $5.62 million (more than Tim Thomas, Marc Andre Fleury and Martin Brodeur) to be a questionable #1 goalie.

They can move Dustin Byfuglien, Brent Sopel and a couple other guys to clear up space but they'll either have to take 1) next to nothing like the New York Islanders received when trading Bill Guerin to the Penguins or 2) a player who's making barely less money.

Most likely, the Blackhawks are going to have to trade a very nice asset (Seabrook, Sharp, maybe even Bolland) to clear up space and they STILL might lose 1-2 of Keith, Kane and Toews. Either way, the honeymoon is almost certainly over after next season.

What will happen next July when the sky is falling for everyone, but the hardest for the Blackhawks? Do they get expelled from Puck Daddy school? Do they bury Huet with Jimmy Hoffa? Bribe Bob Gainey with whores and liquor to get rid of Campbell's uber-albatross? Stop showing home games again, this time out of shame?

Ugh.

Sometimes we feel surrounded by insanity.

(* - Here's the list of SUPERSTAR defensemen making less money than Campbell this season: Scott Niedermayer, Chris Pronger, Dan Boyle and Jay Bouwmeester. Hell, here's some FAR SUPERIOR defenseman making at least $1.5 million less per year: Sergei Gonchar, Shea Weber, Mike Green, Andrei Markov and more. Tallon is ... not a great general manager.)

Looking Back: Maybe sex sells TOO well

Now that free agency is cooling down from frenzy to yawnfest, CLS can tone down its pace from double-bass thrash metal to a nice breezy summer jam. Believe it or not, we'll still be pretty productive and prolific here (expect a weekly summer schedule post in a day or two) so make sure to keep checking us out whether you do the RSS thing or bookmarks or what have you.

One thing we'll do for sure is a weekly "Looking Back" feature to wax nostalgically about some of the more memorable (or oddly hidden) moments in the history of this goofy little blog.

We thought we'd start with the one that continues to boggle our collective minds, an early piece about free agency titled "The Busts and the Busty." Click on the embarrassingly huge boobs to read it:

There are a few things that stand out about this post.

For one thing, the hysterical thought that Joe Sakic was briefly a fantasy hockey "steal" and Ryan Getzlaf (the balding bedrock of our fantasy hockey team) was briefly a "bust."

Naturally, it's obvious that people keep coming back for reasons that go beyond snarky fantasy hockey observations. Namely, the heaving breasts. Take a look at the most "popular" posts at CLS since mid-March, according to Google Analytics:

Click to enlarge

To give you an idea of the "company" that this throwaway fantasy hockey post is in:

1. Glen Sather bashing post, one of the most inspired pieces we've written for CLS.

2. The semi-embarrassing boob post we're talking about today.

3. The MS Paint post, which features a stunning rendering of the once-in-a-lifetime meeting between Gary Coleman and Mark Messier.

4. A Salary Cap study of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

5. Where should the Sedins cycle in 2009-10?

6. The Red Wings = the Los Angeles Lakers.

7. Found in Translation, Chris Kontos' absolutely brilliant pilgrimage into the world of Japanese hockey.

***


So, to summarize that list, the boobs post beat: the greatest post in CLS history (Found in Translation), a fun parallel post between two of the most popular sports franchises in America and a handful of our most popular posts.

This makes us want to vomit.

Oh well, we're sure there's some kind of message here. Right? Tell us.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Instant Analysis: Handing out a couple Free Agent Awards

It's early in the free agent period, but enough moves were made to hand out a few awards. More analysis (maybe even awards) coming tonight if anything else interesting happens ...

The Brad Richards Trophy
Handed out to a solid-to-very-good player whose bloated contract will surely limit his team's future movements, if not paralyze them

Goes to: Marian Hossa, now of Chicago, who signed a 12-year, 62.8 million contract

What a strange odyssey Hossa has taken. He's bounced all around the place after being traded from Ottawa to Atlanta. In three seasons he's gone from Pittsburgh to Detroit (who, we all know, beat Pittsburgh in the playoffs) and now to Chicago (Detroit's division rival and WCF opponent).

As odd a journey as Marian's taken, the Blackhawks are putting themselves on a road to destruction. Three months ago, I doubted they could re-sign RFAs-to-be Patrick Kane, Jonathan Toews and Duncan Keith. Now, it's not totally crazy to ask: might they lose TWO of those players? Or all of their depth?

A mind numbing decision by Chicago.

The Jeff Finger Memorial
A trophy given out to a player who signs a contract that not only dwarfs his insignificant skill set, but does so comically.

Given to: Jaroslav "Sissy" Spacek

Spacek's better than Finger, but the fact that he's receiving more money per year than Nikolai Khabibulin provides the requisite humor.

The Mike Milbury Cup
Awarded to the executive who does the most to improve opposing teams by making jaw droppingly foolish trades and free agent signings

Given to: Bob Gainey

Much like Nicklas Lidstrom's vice grip on the Norris trophy, it seemed like Glen Sather could not be denied yet another Milbury Cup. But Gainey's efforts did not go overlooked as his trade for Scott Gomez pushed the Montreal GM's phone number up the speed dial list of many GMs looking to get rid of dead wood.

More possibly coming soon ...

James O'Brien breathes a sigh of relief

The Sedins resigned with the Canucks this morning before UFA officially started. Looks to be about half the deal they were asking for. 5 years, 30.5M for each of them, as opposed to the 12 year 63M loldeal they were initially looking for. Not a bad move for the Canucks, and I think the Sedins were probably finding out that the market for two giant contracts inextricably tied to each other was a lot smaller than they anticipated. The Sedins and the Canucks and O'Brien need each other. Now everyone is happy.

Joe from Sacrifice the Body on the Detroit Red Wings free agency outlook

Apparently James has a job interview today. Or at least that's what he's saying. I don't think I believe him. So apparently I get to post my own free agency outlook dealie.

If you haven't been there yet, you should go check out my blog, Sacrifice The Body. Honestly, it's kind of sad that I'm not all that active on it, but I try. I just feel dumb posting about minor shit that you probably already read somewhere else, because no one is going to my blog before they hit anything else. Blogging is surprisingly hard, isn't it?

By the way, I hope you're not hoping for more of O'Brien's pictures. I don't do that. If you need pictures, go to google and type your name into the image search, and entertain yourself with that. Better yet, type in "James O'Brien" into the image search, and see what you get. I got 20 bucks on hot O'Brien on peanut brittle porn.

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Frankly, with the Wings' cap situation, they'd have a hard time signing someone for the federal minimum wage, to say nothing of the NHL minimum wage. For that reason, I think I'm gonna have to stick it to guys on the Wings that I don't want to return. First on the list of Mike Samuelsson. Why? People have tried telling me before that he's not that bad, and maybe I'm spoiled and expect everyone to be a franchise player, but I swear, he does a lot of stupid stuff. Nothing I can ever think of off the top of my head (unlike, say, Andreas Lilja costing us a Cup), but I just don't think he's that good, and I'd rather see that spot filled by a developing youngster for a bit cheaper. I just don't like the guy.

Now for my more shocking answer: Marian Hossa. If Ken Holland were to resign Hossa to even a 4M/yr deal (which would be ludicrous on Hossa's part), you'd still have a team payroll of 55.2M, lose my boy Hudler, still need another forward or two, and perhaps a backup goalie (or even a starting goalie!), all with 1.8M to spare. For the sake of the Red Wing's salary structure going forward, it would probably be best for Hossa to move on. Unless Holland can pull off some sort of nice deal to save us some salary (please, someone, take Lebda and Lilja and Stuart off our hands!), Hossa ought to be the odd man out. Sorry bro, you had your chance, and you blew it. Massively. GLHF winning a Cup next year.

(An interesting alternative way for the Wings to get cap space: Lilja missed the playoffs with a concussion which he's still not recovered from, and I think he's had concussion issues before. Slap the LTIR tag on Lilja and he doesn't count against the cap. That's an extra 1.25M of savings!)

Also, I should point out, Ken Holland already announced that the worst player on the Wings would not be back next year. I love what you've done through your career, Cheli, but it really is the end of the line. Go be a coach somewhere, but please, get off the ice.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

A move that would put a stake through my heart? That's a tough one, as I think there are only a couple of teams that could really knock the Wings off their perch. Anaheim getting Hossa would be a tough one, as they're one of the few that can consistently beat the Wings as it is. Calgary could also be a threat if Kipper ever gets his head on straight, so I guess I hope that Calgary doesn't hire a team psychologist or exorcist or whatever the hell he needs. I guess that statement also applies to the Sharks as an entire team. I don't get concerned about the East because we never see them, and frankly, I didn't think any of them could beat the Wings in a 7 game series until a couple weeks ago. So I guess if Giguere/Pronger went to Pittsburgh, that would also suck.

Pronger or Giguere going within the Central Division, San Jose, Calgary, or Pittsburgh would really suck all around. Pretty much the god damn Ducks are the source of any sort of thorns in my side. Except I can't really hate them because they've got some great bloggers and they're a really damn competitive team. Like, Edmonton has good bloggers, but the team and management is a joke, so I just laugh at them and don't take them seriously. Anaheim is actually really damn good, and for some reason they want to get rid of a really great defenseman, and keep pulling phenomenally talented goalies out of their ass. It pisses me off.

Just ship Pronger and Giguere in a package deal to Atlanta so I don't have to put up with them anymore. And I'm glad Allaire left you guys. So there.

POSTSCRIPT: Ok, so I wrote this for James right before the draft, at which point Pronger was traded to Philadelphia. Really, the worst things that could happen to the Wings were things the Ducks could make happen. I don't think Pronger going to Philadelphia is that big of a deal for the Wings, because in the end, only one Eastern Conference team will matter, and I hardly think the Flyers will make the Cup Finals. I mean, come on, they're the FLYERS. With RAY FRICKIN' EMERY. This team could just as easily finish with the #1 draft pick on the heels of an absolutely magical explosion of conflicting and contentious (and mean) personalities. Pronger will help immensely to control guys like Crosby and Ovechkin, but I really don't think its enough to make the Flyers a threat to the Wings.

So now as long as Giguere doesn't go anywhere important (let's see a reunion with Allaire and Burke in Toronto!), and Hossa doesn't sign with the Ducks, it'll have been a somewhat acceptable offseason. I'm far more interested in how the Wings juggle the cap space to complete a full roster for next year, and I'm really interested in who is going to be our backup goalie. Hopefully one of our three serious goalie prospects takes the job, and then takes the starting job.

(I think its important to note here that if the Ducks didn't get in the Wings' way so damn much, I'd probably be a big fan. They play a great mean physical game, they have a style and an attitude that really speaks "hockey" to me, and they have some great coverage between the guys at Anaheim Calling and Earl Sleek. But unfortunately they keep getting in the damn way. Seriously, please go away. We're trying to win some Cups here.)

CT from Hockee Night on Chicago Blackhawks free agency


Hockee Night is a blog devoted to the Chicago Blackhawks and their weekly podcasts (each Tuesday). Make sure to follow their work and enjoy their very funny Puck Casts. Thanks guys.

Let me preface this by saying I honestly don't expect to see much out of the Blackhawks in free agency this year. Their biggest concerns are internal, what with guys like Dave Bolland and Kris Versteeg being RFA's. The biggest issue for the Hawks will be whether or not Martin Havlat will agree to come back on a one year deal. If he does, they'll pretty much return the same team as last year. If he doesn't, they'll have a bit of money to play with, in which case I'd like to see them make a run at Mike Cammalleri or maybe John Madden. The Hawks biggest challenge will be trying to improve on a team that reached the Western Conference Finals while keeping enough cap space to sign Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane and Duncan Keith to extensions.

This is exactly our luck in Chicago. We finally have ownership in place that would be willing to spend money like the Red Wings used to, and we're stuck laboring under this goddamned salary cap.

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Looking at the list, I'm not really afraid of any particular player as much as their potential contract. The Hawks pressing issue will be signing role players to contracts that don't impact their cap situation in such a way that it costs them guys like Toews, Kane, Keith or Brent Seabrook down the line. While that seems like a no-brainer, keep in mind that GM Dale Tallon has a history of giving role players like Brent Sopel (3 years, $2.3M per) and Dustin Byfuglien (3 years, $3.5M per) oversized extensions. This tendancy, along with Joel Quenneville's affection for defenseman like Matt Walker who are known for "toughness" and nothing else puts a bit of a scare into me. Walker wasn't good, but at least he only made $500K last year. My nightmare is that the Hawks for some reason decide to go after a "marquee" physical (read: big stiff) defenseman who just won the Stanley Cup: Hal Gill.

Let me tell you something about Hal Gill: he sucks. He's terrible. He's so bad that I incorporated his ineptitude into a drinking game. He's big and probably strong, but so are the concrete pillars in a parking garage, and they've got similar range. Also, even though they aren't related(that I can tell), Hal's last name immediately brings to my mind Todd "No Skill" Gill who played the bulk of his career with the Toronto Maple Leafs (back in their Norris days) and also made stops in St. Louis and Detroit (honestly, the only thing that could make me hate Todd Gill more was if he'd done some freelancing for the Nazis) before showing up in Chicago in 2002 where the Hawks mercifully euthanized his career. He was so bad, he could only get into 5 games with the 02-03 Hawks. I mean, look at this roster for cripes sake. LOOK AT IT!

Anyway, I don't want any part of Hal Gill, and the thought of the Hawks possibly signing him makes me wake up with night sweats.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

I gotta be honest, this already happened. I was sure the Detroit Red Wings wouldn't be able to Zetterberg, Datsyuk AND Johan Franzen, but they already did. So I guess my biggest fear is that Marian Hossa, Mikael Samuelsson and Jiri Hudler all sign on with Detroit for a combined salary of $650,000 for 10 years.

I'd also hate to see the Sedin twins stay in the Western Conference. I would highly recommend that those two freaks go play in the Eastern Conference with its easy travel schedule and tolerance of people who are genetic copies of each other. Here in the Western Conference, we still believe that identical twins are the product of the union between a she-wolf and the Olmec god Xt'Tapalatakettle, and we god-fearing Western Conferencites want nothing to do with that.

Unless they want to sign in Chicago at a rock-bottom price. That I'm okay with.

Raw Charge throws some free agent lighting bolts our way

Raw Charge is a great Tampa Bay lightning blog under the Sports Blog Nation umbrella. We hope you enjoy the thoughts of Cassie and John. Thanks you two!

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?


Cassie: Chris Chelios. I like the guy - I really do - but he deserves so much better than what Tampa Bay can give him. Especially with ownership squabbles and money woes going on. Out of respect for a legendary player, please don't sign Chelios! For his own sake, don't even talk to him or his agent! Let him retire a Blackhawk - just like he should.

John: Chelios but for different reasons. Chris is one of those “traditional” players who thinks he is protecting the sancity of the game when he undermines hockey and it’s fans in the south. I respect what he’s accomplished in his career but he has publicly stated how much he hates the fact hockey went to regions “where it doesn’t belong”. That said, if he were chased or signed by Tampa, he’d be selling-out ideals as well as obviously desperate to stick around. No thanks.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

Cassie: The obvious - trading away Vinny Lecavalier. He is the franchise; he is the Tampa Bay Lightning. But they can't keep him. The team's been pretty clear about their financial situation. So it's a damned if they do, and damned if they don't. Keeping him means cutting salary elsewhere. Trading him means getting rid of 10 years of franchise history. Not to mention a goodly number of fans. Nothing good can come of this situation.

John: What Cassie says is true, but what I fear (with all the rumors swirling around about money) is a fire sale. I can see it now: Malone to... somewhere for a bag of pucks; St. Louis dealt to the Rangers for tickets to Elton John performing at Madison Square Garden (nosebleed seats, ugh!); Jeff Halpern traded to the Kings for gift certificates to California Pizza Kitchen… And Vinny to the Habs in return for Poutine and a condiment-to-be-named-later… That would kill me and the fan base in TB.

Anaheim Calling talks about the one ex-Duck they don't want to see in Detroit, Anaheim free agency in general

Make sure to follow Daniel and Arthur's great Ducks blog, Anaheim Calling for all your flying-V/knuckle pucking/formerly dirty elbowing needs. (Sorry, that was generic, but I'm sleepy. Anaheim Calling really is awesome.)

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

DANIEL:

The player I'd hate to see in my sweater has to be Jeremy Roenick. I've disliked him since he insulted the Ducks organization during the 1997 Playoff series between the Ducks and Coyotes (which we won). How does it feel not having your name on the Cup, Roenick? You're entirely too cocky for a guy who's never won a championship, and I'd never want you on a team that I root for.

"Tsst!"

ARTHUR:

Dear Murph,

This offseason, please don't sign anyone born before November 10, 1970. I realize that you're an old Blackhawk and Chelios is an old Blackhawk and Roenick is an old Blackhawk, and you occasionally want to walk into the locker room and reminisce about that one time that Darren Pang puked on Steve Larmer's skates. I realize how attractive that is for you. I also realize that there's some kind of Blackhawks AARP underground, and Doug Wilson probably just called you to remind you it's your turn. To that, all I can say is TSST!

What's that? Bill Guerin? TSST! His birthday's on the 9th. Saku Koivu? Good Murph. Good boy. Now, I can show you affection and stop being do-minant.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

ARTHUR:

If you've never seen a conniption, come and find me when Francois Beauchemin signs with another team. The man can turn a playoff series around, whether it's by throwing the big hits, scoring a goal, tricking Iginla into thinking he's right-handed or breaking Tomas Kopecky's face.

It kills our chances if he signs with Dallas. That team already has our number, and they'd be adding a guy interested in reminding us, game after game, why it's important to negotiate with your injured players.

DANIEL:

The free agent signing that would crush my soul is easy: Pahlsson to Detroit. If Arthur and I were blogging during the 2006-07 season, I can guarantee we would have done a post called: "The Top 10 Reasons Pahlsson Deserves The Selke." I like Pahlsson, and I've always thought he was underrated, both as a defensive player and a scorer. Conversely, I hate Detroit. I mean, I HATE Detroit. They've ended the Ducks' Playoff run on 3 occasions, and I feel that, despite everything that gets said about Anaheim and L.A., Detroit is the closest thing we have to a true rival. Losing a player like Pahlsson, who is in my eyes the quintessential Duck, to our rival in Detroit would cause me physical anguish comparable to crucifixion.

Five for Smiting threatens Murray with goat urine, er, shares Senators related free agency fears

We first introduced ourselves to Senators Lost Cojones aka the founder of Five for Smiting a week ago with our draft special and are happy to have 'em back for a second contribution in as many weeks. Make sure to follow this funny, insightful Ottawa blog even if Dany Heatley won't waive his No Trade C(ause he's a jerk clause).

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Marian Gaborik. If Alexei Yashin and Drew Rosenhaus ever conceived a bastard love child, that's what it would look like. I'm sorry to have to be the one to break this to Bryan Murray, but our quota of butter soft, injury prone, over rated Euro trash has been filled, thank you very much. His baffling, nauseating...Nay! Infuriating!!...contract extension to Filip Kuba made sure of that. If Gaborik somehow slithers his way into the Senators line up, I swear by all that is good and right in this world, I will soak my most prized possession (vintage 1993, #13 Jamie Baker jersey) in the urine of a thousand goats and burn it on The Bryan's desk. GOATS BRYAN!! YA HEARD ME!! Honest to God GOATS!!

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

The Maple Leafs somehow pulling Jay Bouwmeester out of Darryl Sutter's ass. I'll let them have the Sedins. After all, that poor, misguided, delusional and obviously drunk diaspora known as Leaf Nation hasn't had an overpaid forward to hail as the second coming of Darryl Sittler and then spend the next six months bitching about since the Antropov trade. But J-Bo... I'm not at all comfortable with the possibility of Laugh fans finally discovering what Real NHL Talent looks like. They may develop a taste for it.

Then again, once Larry Tanenbaum and his Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment hench-yokels discover how deeply Real NHL Talent will cut into their profit margin, I'm sure they'll nix any deal Burke can make, lest he anger his pension fund gods. Then he'll double season ticket prices to appease them...and just because he can.

Vancity Canuck gives her Vancouver FA thoughts

To read more from Vancity Canuck, read her Vancouver Canucks blog as well as her work at The Hockey Bay. Thanks again, VC!

1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?

Any player with a girl's name, namely Marian.

Gaborik: When he's not injured, he's a really exciting player to watch. But he does get injured, 27 injuries since 2000 injured. There's also a lot of obstacles when you play in Vancouver, he could trip and break his leg on the seawall, sprain his ankles on the Grouse Grind, break both legs snowboarding on the mountains...or just trip on some electrical tape.

Marian Hossa really might be the best in the litter, but I can't get over the feeling that he's cursed in the Stanley Cup Finals.

2. Conversely, pick a potential move by another team that would just crush your soul/favorite team's chances.

Bouwmeester in Calgary! Imagine having Jay Bo and Phaneuf shutting down Vancouver's top two lines six times a year. I want him on my team, and if we can't have him, I'd rather see him in an Oilers jersey than being a Flamer.